GREG I’m sorry, what were the last two?/ Did I miss those? I think I nodded off at …

STEPH Fucker!/ (Slugs him in the arm.) Be serious!

GREG Fine! Okay … (Rubs his arm.) Owww. Jesus, you pack a wallop …

STEPH I have brothers.

GREG I know … but still.

STEPH Stop deflecting./ Go.

GREG Fine./ (Beat.) Five in total, right?

STEPH You’re such a prick sometimes …

GREG What? I’m just playing around …

STEPH Then do it./ Just say ’em, come on.

GREG Alright, alright./ Top five. Ok, my very toppest-five reasons to be here with you, Steph, are … ummmm … ummmmmmmmmmm …

STEPH … nice …

GREG I’m just being silly! (Smiles.) Ok, honestly: I, too, like food, so I’m gonna share that one with you, the “food” one … two, I’m obviously the only person here who has any idea where Turkey is …/ … so really I’m more like your travel guide than a date or anything …

STEPH … shut up …/ Asshole …

GREG You know that’s true! Three would be … three is I’m definitely not going to be invited to eat at your parents’ house at any point in the next, ohhh, say, seven years so we have to eat somewhere … and four is … hmmmmm … four would be … God, there must be at least one more reason …

STEPH You’re such a dick, you know that? (She smacks him on the shoulder.) Say it!

GREG Alright, alright … (The buzzer goes off.) Ohh, damn, well … maybe by the time we’re having dessert I’ll’ve come up with …

STEPH No way! No! Say it now!!

They are being playful with each other—GREG gets to his feet, pretending to head inside but STEPH has grabbed his arm and is pulling him back.

After a moment, they kiss. Nothing big, just softly and tenderly—they’re a nice couple when they work at it.

GREG Ok, you win. (Beat.) I love you, Steph. That’s why. And I wanna be with you …

STEPH Thank you.

GREG Now let’s go eat some … stuff on a stick.

STEPH Wait! No … no, no, no./ Not yet!

GREG But the … what’s-it is buzzing!/ They’re calling for us …

STEPH Fuck them, they can wait. They’re Asian, they’re used to waiting …

GREG … I don’t even know what that means …

STEPH Shut up, I’m being serious! (Beat.) That’s only four … four reasons to be here with me. What’s the other one, your last one?/ No, tell me first. And be truthful.

GREG But … our little buzzer …/ Damn! Fine. Lemme see … ok: (Suddenly more serious.) I’m happy to be here with you and not at some dinner with Carly when she starts crying because of what I’ve allowed to let happen. (Beat.) There. That’s my last one.

STEPH Oh./ Okay.

GREG See?/ Number five wasn’t so great, was it?

STEPH Ummmmm, no … maybe not as good as those other four. No.