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Contents ( 13)
  1. PRAISE FOR THE PLAYS OF NEIL LABUTE
  2. REASONS TO BE PRETTY
  3. IN A DARK DARK HOUSE
  4. WRECKS
  5. FAT PIG
  6. THE MERCY SEAT
  7. THE SHAPE OF THINGS
  8. BASH
  9. ALSO BY NEIL LABUTE
  10. Copyright
  11. Contents
  12. PREFACE
  13. REASONS TO BE HAPPY

GREG … oh my God./ Wow. Carly … that’s …

CARLY I know, right?/ Fuck, I can’t believe it! (Smiles.) I hope you’re happy …

GREG Of course. Yes. I mean … are you happy?

Without waiting for any more explanation, CARLY grabs him and hugs him deeply. He holds her, unsure what else to do at this moment.

Finally she pulls away, handing him the pregnancy strip to look at while she gathers her belongings.

CARLY And what were you gonna say to me?/ I mean before I cut you off …?

GREG … nothing./ I was … I can’t remember now.

CARLY hugs him again and GREG hugs her back. Her eyes are closed but his are wide open—he stares at the used pregnancy test in his hand.

A restaurant patio.

STEPH and GREG outside. GREG holding a restaurant pager and looking at a nearby window. STEPH is watching him.

STEPH … hey. You like my dress?/ I bought it for tonight. Special.

GREG Yes … it’s really cute./ (Beat.) Wait, you’re trying to trick me … that’s a skirt, right, not a …? With a top.

STEPH A blouse.

GREG A blouse. On top.

STEPH Actually, yeah./ (Smiles.) Good job!

GREG I remember …/ You taught me that. Yep.

GREG smiles and turns away. STEPH keeps an eye on him.

STEPH … you don’t really wanna be here, do you?/ Greg.

GREG …/ What?

STEPH It’s true.

GREG Steph.

STEPH No, I can tell. It’s alright, just say so.

GREG I’m … (Turns to her.) I’m sorry, I was just thinking, that’s all.

STEPH That’s ok. Thinking’s allowed.

GREG Thanks.

STEPH As long as it’s about “me.” (Smiles.) I hope it was, anyway.

GREG Yeah, no, it was. Mostly about you and, you know. Us.

STEPH Uh-oh.

GREG No, no, there’s no “uh-oh,” I’m just … I’ve got lots of stuff going on, racing around in my head. (Grins.) Sorry. I’ve been looking forward to this, so …

STEPH Good. Me too.

GREG Great.

STEPH This restaurant looks nice … busy, but …

GREG Yeah, another one of those places that we always said we were gonna try and didn’t. (Beat.) After we broke up, I never really wanted to go by myself—even if we never went there—if we’d talked about it then it felt like it was one of “our” spots so I didn’t wanna ruin it. Does that at all make sense? (Beat.) NO! It’s weird, right?

STEPH No, I get it./ That’s sweet.

GREG Yeah?/ Thanks.

STEPH (Looking around.) I don’t think I’ve even done Turkish in my life before, so … what kinda stuff is it?/ Hummus?

GREG Ummmm, you know …/ Yeah. Kebobs and that kind of thing, too. Mint.

STEPH Like, “shish kebobs,” you mean?

GREG Yep, like on … (Mimes.) … a stick. They probably don’t use actual sticks, but … it’s the same idea.

STEPH Right. Ok. Sounds … European. Or Asian. Which one are they?/ People from Turkey?