Noah’s taking in everything with his sharp eyes and quick mind. I don’t give a damn if Aiko screws Chaz. We’re done, but Noah doesn’t understand that yet. In his mind, we’re his parents. We live together. He doesn’t see us any differently from his classmates’ mommies and daddies who are married, and how we handle this transition into this next phase of life could affect him for years to come. It should be thoughtful and careful and measured and put his needs at the center, not our own.

I look to Chaz and Aiko, a hard set to my mouth, a warning in my eyes.

“Noah, Chaz works with Mommy,” I say pointedly. “He’s going on safari, too. Isn’t that cool?”

“Wow,” Noah says. “You’ll take lots of pictures, right?”

“Of course,” Chaz says, his smile uncertain. “So many pictures that we have to get started right away, buddy.”

Noah hates being called “buddy.” He thinks it’s infantile. His word. Not mine. He looks up at me and scowls, and I give a subtle shake of my head, silently reminding him to be respectful. I grab a cart for all Aiko’s bags, getting them loaded. Once that’s done, it’s time for Noah and me to go. There’s such a mix of things in her expression.

Excitement. Hope. Anticipation.

Sadness. Guilt. Uncertainty.

“I won’t,” she says softly. “I mean… I don’t have to if you don’t want me on this trip. If you want to think about it, I can—”

“Ko.” I squeeze her hand and look at her directly to emphasize my sincerity. “Enjoy your trip.”

She searches my face, like she has to make sure she won’t be damaging something irreparably if she takes this step with Chaz, but we’ve been broken a long time. We’ve held this relationship together with Gorilla Glue, masking tape and sheer force of will. But there are too many gaps and holes and tears. What we had will never be whole again, but we can be something new.

Noah and I watch his mother walk into the airport with another man, and I don’t feel anything but hope that this can be the start.

I glance down at the watch on my wrist, at the email that might mean seeing Kimba again. There’s a stirring in my chest at the thought, like hope shaking awake parts of me that have been asleep for years. I don’t have time to think about it now, but take a second to reply that I’m honored to be recognized and looking forward to the banquet.

“Dad,” Noah says, not patiently. “Can we please go now? It’s the first day of summer break.”

“I did hear that somewhere.” I chuckle and muss his hair. “Let’s go…buddy.”

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

Kimba