Heat coats the inside of my throat and the plate in front of me blurs on the table through a sudden film of tears. A sense of purpose has driven me every step in every race, and it’s always been enough. More than enough. It’s been fulfilling. For the first time, as happy as I am to have done my part, this victory feels hollow somehow.

“Tell me something,” Mama says, her voice pitched low enough for only me to hear.

I turn my head to stare into her wise, dark eyes.

“All you did to make these other folks happy,” Mama asks. “When is it Kimba’s turn?”

I glance around the room. Mateo and his wife stand in a receiving line, accepting everyone’s congratulations. Kayla and Lawrence eat from each other’s plates, checking their phones every few minutes for messages from the sitter. Keith and Delaney laugh and talk softly, basking in the glow of his victory and their baby news.

For the last eighteen months, this night has glowed at the end of the tunnel, a beacon that kept me on task and focused. This night was my reward. He was my reward.

“You’re so much like your daddy,” Mama huffs, but softens it with a smile. “Needed everything to be done his way. Had his lists and goals and it needed to go the way he planned it. Let me tell you what I told him. Life don’t care about your plans. Life will make a mess of your plans, honey.”

Mama squeezes my hand. “Haven’t you waited long enough? Hasn’t he? Are you ready to clean up that mess yet?”

I’ve spent my whole adult life cleaning up other people’s messes. For the greater good, yes, but I’ve become adept at covering naked asses, spinning bad decisions and making indiscretions go away. I’ve never met a mess I couldn’t handle…until Ezra Stern. It’s easier to deal with someone else’s mess than it is to clean your own. Hand me someone’s problem? I can fix it. But when Aiko got pregnant with Ezra’s baby, that was not just their future on the line. It was mine. My happiness in the balance. My heart on my sleeve. I glance at Mama, but she’s not looking at me. She’s caressing that tiny ice chip diamond Daddy gave her more than forty years ago, so small you can barely see it from a distance. She’s lost the love of her life.

Will I lose mine?

“I have to go.” I stand and spread my farewell around the table. “I’ll see you…when I see you. I got shit to do.”

Carla’s startled glance bounces from me to the stage. “But Congressman…Governor Ruiz has a speech planned. He’ll acknowledge you, bring you up on stage. We talked about this.”