Bram fixed his eyes upon her. Once upon a time, the sight of Rina with her hair cascading down her shoulders, would have made him sick with desire, would have sent a raging fire throughout his body. Now, as he gazed upon her, his passions calm and controlled, he was grateful that all he felt was the fear of God in his breast and the love of Jesus in his heart. He knew it wasn’t due to any physical change in Rina. If anything, she had become more beautiful. What a difference a wedding band made.

He said, “Your hair’s uncovered.”

Rina’s hand reached for her head. She dashed out of the room and retrieved her scarf. Though her head was pounding, she wrapped it tightly around her hair, hiding all of it from view. She found a bottle of Peter’s Advil and helped herself. Then she went back into the kitchen. Went back to unpacking groceries. “Why’d you come here?”

“To apologize. At least, can you look at me?”

Rina turned around. Though his face was drawn, his complexion looked healthier today than yesterday. She realized it was because he had shaved and his hair had been washed.

Softly, she said, “I could never stay mad at you. It never happened, okay?”

“But it did happen.” He locked eyes with her. “My behavior yesterday was wretched by anyone’s standards. For someone who dares to call himself a man of God, it was abhorrent. I took my frustrations out on you. I’m very sorry.”

Rina turned away. “No need to apologize. I know what it’s like to experience rotten times.”

“It’s no excuse.” Bram stood, walked over to the open door, stared into the backyard. “Rina, I have spent the entire night thinking about what you asked me—”

“Bram—”

“You asked me a question. It deserves an answer. Bear with me, all right?”

Rina was silent.

“I have tried to relive every moment I was with Yitzy…from the time I first met him until the last time I saw him. My own mental video of the times we spent together alone…which was very substantial.”

He ran his hand through his hair.

“I can honestly say to you that there was never, ever, even a wee hint of impropriety on my part. In all the time I knew him, Yitzchak was what he was. A righteous Tzaddik and a loving father and husband. And my behavior toward him had always been above reproach. But…”

He swallowed hard, his eyes fixed upon the corral.

“But there were…as you put it…feelings.”

Rina said nothing.

“There were feelings,” Bram faced her. “Vague sexual feelings.”

Rina leaned against the counter, studied her hands. “Toward Yitzchak.”

“At the time, I had assumed so, since they came on shortly after I met him and disappeared shortly after he died.”

He shrugged.