The thought of Zac and Biddy being out together without me was unpleasant, but fuck it – when was I meant to sleep? Recharge? Feel better about the shitty fucking mess I’d made of my life and the lives of others?

I texted: Can’t face going into town, soz

From Biddy: Kelly’s gone home. We’re in an Uber, heading to my place! Come over there!

I threw back the covers, stood.

‘You’re not going out, are you?’ Sarah said. ‘You know I’m working in the morning, yeah?’

‘Yeah.’

She put her phone down, looked at me. ‘So you’ll be home in time for that?’

‘Of course.’ I dragged my jeans on, looked around for my socks. ‘When have I not been here when I’m meant to be?’

‘I just think your first responsibility should be to your kids, hun.’

Fucking … ‘What does that even mean?’

She stared at me – one of her classics. ‘It means you should be here when you’re meant to be, Chris.’

‘For the kids?’

‘Yes, Chris, for the kids.’

‘What the fuck are you talking about? I’m frittering my fucking life away in a sexless marriage because the thought of not seeing you or the kids fucking terrifies me.’

‘Here we go again. You just get angry and blow your trumpet.’

I rubbed my face, didn’t need to. ‘Seriously, Sarah, when have I not been here for them? They’re my top fucking priority.’

‘OK, well, it doesn’t seem like it, sometimes. That’s all I’m saying.’

‘What, like you when you were outside your friend’s party riding the DJ instead of getting the kids from your alchy brother’s?’

She shook her head – a direct hit. ‘Forget it, Chris. You know what I’m saying. You look like shit, you keep saying you’re exhausted and can’t cope, and that’s what you’re presenting to your children.’

* * *

I wheeled my bike into Biddy’s kitchen, nodded at the bottle of tequila. ‘You’re still going strong?’

‘Um, yeah,’ Zac said. ‘It’s my national drink, after all. No, that’s a lie. But it was invented by a Uruguayan. Actually, no, that’s a lie too.’

‘No Win or Noel?’ I asked Biddy.

‘They’re away for the weekend, with Cedric, thank god. Tequila?’

‘Are you both having another?’

‘I could definitely do a couple more shots,’ Zac said.

And so he did, as did Biddy, as did I, and then we had a couple more, and then a couple more – and then the wigs came out of Biddy’s dress-up box.

Was that singing? Oh, how we sang! And laughing? Oh, how we laughed!

Zac stood from the crack den floor, stumbled forwards, adjusted his glasses, said he wanted to go home – meaning my house.

My watch … Oh, Sarah would be leaving for work in just over three hours.