I raised my head as far as I could, squinted sideways into the glare of Zac’s phone: a selfie of him and the kids – Sophie smiling, Oliver mid-chuckle, Zac pulling a face.

‘What would you say to them, dude, I mean, on your deathbed or whatever, if you could only say one last thing?’

‘Brush your teeth.’

‘No, really, dude, come on. What would you tell them?’

‘Just the usual stuff,’ I said. ‘I’m proud of them, I love them, they’re the best things that ever happened to me.’

We leant our heads together, locked our fingers, drifted …

‘Oh, this is very romantic,’ Mel said.

I opened my eyes, saw her crouching between Zac and me with two pint-glasses of water.

* * *

I leant in to kiss Biddy, my tongue in her mouth, my legs wet with spew, my shirt drenched in sweat. She didn’t mind, kissed hungrily, was amazing – my kundalini at a time of castration.

Someone tapped my shoulder. ‘I’m thinking of having kids,’ said a man with an Irish accent.

‘Oh?’ Had we been babbling at each other in the line for the bathroom? Maybe. He looked familiar. ‘Got two,’ I said. ‘Good things to have.’

‘Oh, right.’ He nodded at Biddy, who was still dancing. ‘With her?’

I shook my head. ‘She’s my girlfriend.’

He beckoned, and I put my ear close to his mouth, felt his wet breath on the follicles. ‘So you’ve split up with your missus then?’

I pulled away, got my mouth to his ear, forgot what I was going to say, remembered … ‘Nah, still together.’

He scrunched his face, wagged his finger between Biddy and me. ‘She knows?’

The bass was better, heavier. ‘Get on great. Have dinner together sometimes.’

I started dancing again, watching Biddy, moving side to side to –

Another tap. ‘Sorry, are you saying you sleep with your woman here and with your wife too … and they’re OK?’

‘S’not all bread and roses.’

He smiled, stepped back, stood on someone’s toes, apologised, extended his hand. ‘Put it there, mate.’ He shook as if I’d saved a life. ‘Fucken awesome. Kudos to you.’

‘Um, yeah, kudos,’ I said, nodding.

I danced closer to Biddy, held her hand, watched and wanted her.

Zac was a few people away, busting some moves, Mel too.

My nausea had gone. Biddy had given me chewing gum, and fuck, yeah, it came into its own, the chewy, in a situation such as this. I was abristle with bonhomie, my best days still ahead of me. I danced behind Biddy, kissed the nape of her neck, inhaled her. She turned, drew my head to hers, opened her mouth, summer cantaloupe, dark eternal secrets … and yes, I was into it, really into it, opened my eyes, and –