‘I completely agree,’ I said, not turning to face her. The hedonism – it had only been three weeks but it had to stop. I’d been scouring the internet for information about polyamory, only to discover, with some horror, there were common ground rules couples agreed on – none of which Sarah and I had discussed or adhered to.

Still, we had Josh’s housewarming tonight, and then, tomorrow …

Sophie waved from the swing. Oliver pushed the roundabout, jumped on, nearly lost his grip.

Sarah had asked me to score some MDMA for Valentino’s party the following night. I’d bought some from Zac’s pizza guy, had to drive to Surrey Hills the previous evening and –

‘It’s not good for us,’ she said.

‘Or the kids.’ Sarah’s mother, Carly, had agreed to watch them for the whole weekend, an unprecedented gesture. ‘I don’t want to spend my Sundays coming down.’

‘You mean your whole week?’ Sarah said.

Before Oliver and Sophie, we’d been up for anything together, but …

‘I hope they’re home soon,’ I said.

I’d snuck out of work at three, ridden home, helped Sarah pack the kids’ bags, driven us out the freeway to Carly and Chris’s before the worst of the rush-hour traffic, knocked at their door – nobody home.

‘Just be careful, darling,’ Sarah shouted.

‘Whoo hoo.’ Sophie’s school shoes in the air.

‘Hold on tight,’ I called out.

Oliver shouted, ‘I’m hungry. No, wait, I’m going to be sick.’

‘It’s not fair on Mum either,’ Sarah said.

A Friday film in bed, Saturday daytime in the garden, Sunday morning baking a cake. It would be good for Carly, for the kids.

* * *

‘OK, bye, darling,’ Carly said, hugging Sarah.

‘Say hi to Dad when he gets here,’ Sarah said.

‘Love you, Chris,’ Carly said, releasing Sarah and shuffling towards me, arms out.

‘Yeah, love you too,’ I said, squeezing her, a kiss on the lips. Carly’s scent was warm cinnamon, my mother’s more like bay leaves.

Oliver and Sophie waved from the living-room window as we walked past. I waved, my eyes filling. I pulled on my seatbelt, wondered what Carly would make of the fact her daughter was banging a DJ with my consent. Wondered what I’d feel like at his party, meeting him, having to dance to his shitty DJ set. My heartbeat, boom.

‘There’s always Kyle,’ I said, reversing out of the driveway.

‘We can’t keep asking him,’ Sarah said. ‘He’s already said he’s snowed under with work.’

There was my family too – I could have asked them, if they weren’t all dead.

Fingering was listed in one online poly forum under ‘dos and don’ts’. For some couples the ‘don’t’ was doggystyle, for others it was kissing on the mouth, and for some, evidently, it was fingering.