‘Oh, come on, Olly,’ Sarah said. ‘You’ve been playing so nicely together all this time.’

‘You don’t need to say anything, Sophie,’ I said. ‘Don’t let anyone ever make you feel uncomfortable, OK?’

She looked at me, smiled. ‘Lo siento que no conseguiste el trabajo.’

‘Bien hecho,’ Zac said, laughing. ‘Give me five, girl.’

Sophie gave him five.

‘What does that mean?’ I said.

‘She’s sad you didn’t get the job,’ Oliver said.

The job … I’d skulked from the office, moped into the lift, across the ground floor, cursing everyone and their stupid fucking books.

‘Why don’t you show Daddy some of the other tricks I taught you?’ Zac said. ‘I need to, um, go relieve myself or whatever.’ He strode across the patio, into the house.

I sat on the garden bench next to Sarah, invited Sophie and Oliver over for a hug.

Oh. Eight arms, four bodies, the sun still warm. My family, I had a family. I’d cut Biddy adrift – what an absolute fucking arsehole.

‘I’m so sorry,’ Sarah said. ‘I was sure that job was yours. I even had a dream about it.’

‘Yeah …’

‘I like you working at the library,’ Sophie said.

‘Can we still come and look at books?’ Oliver said.

‘You can have them all.’

Sarah said, ‘Oh, hey … I accidentally told Biddy you didn’t get it. Sorry, hun. She phoned to thank me for bringing food over, and it just slipped out. She’s feeling better today. You should call her.’

‘Yeah, maybe.’

* * *

Within the hour, I was at Biddy’s, shaking my head – no thanks.

She took a beer from the fridge, opened it, stood behind the kitchen counter. Should I apologise first? Should she?

I said, ‘Sarah told me you’re feeling better.’

‘Yeah, I am,’ she said. ‘She’s been so amazing, Chris. It’s been a revelation, honestly. It’s like I’m getting to know her properly for the first time.’

‘She’s good in a crisis.’

Biddy’s body, Biddy’s milk scent. She sat on the crack den sofa, I sat on the camping chair. We’d been so in love. Were we still in love? I was. But was she?

‘Want to go first?’ she said.

‘Not really.’ I faked a laugh, looked at the carpet – roaches, cigarette butts, broken glass. ‘I’ve thought about my mum a lot this week. She’s the only one who would have been … I mean, by default … I’m sorry I blocked your number … I overreacted. What about you?’

She laughed, pulled her feet onto the sofa. ‘Yeah, well, the past few days have been pretty shit, but I’m glad you called. Sarah told me about the job. I’m sorry.’

‘Yeah, thanks.’ I could get up, sit with her on the sofa, hold her. She’d probably like that. I’d like it too.