I handed her the phone. She looked at it. ‘You want me to do it right now?’

‘Yeah, why not?’ I was Sarah’s knight in Teflon armour, couldn’t be hurt. ‘What about this, just for a laugh? Don’t actually swipe right on anyone. But if you see someone you find attractive, stop scrolling for a second. And if I see someone I’d like to hang out with, I’ll tell you to stop.’

‘Um, OK,’ she said. ‘How do I start?’

‘Here.’ I took the phone, got the first image up, gave it back to her. She started swiping – Oh, look, a selfie in a mirror, no face, just abs and a crotch, a man with bad teeth, a man with nice jeans … She paused, continued swiping left, stopped, started laughing. Me too. It was … hahaha, god. So brazen – a man in overalls with dirty hands, in a garden somewhere, a butternut squash held out in front of his crotch. It was his expression, though, it was …

‘My god,’ Sarah said, ‘that’s hilarious.’

‘The best one yet,’ I said.

We hadn’t giggled like this together since … When? I had tears in my eyes, we were setting each other off. Jesus. My mind flooded with happy memories – cleaning our teeth together and dancing to the rhythm of our brushes; skipping with the kids in the Dandenongs; her proposing to me in Thailand, me accepting.

The laughter petered out, started again, petered out.

‘OK, keep going,’ I said, wiping my eyes.

Swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, sw–

‘Hang on,’ I said. A man with long hair playing a vintage Rickenbacker guitar. ‘He looks really cool. I’d totally hang out with him.’

‘Yeah, not really my type.’

Her type was Nikau, Valentino. Maybe DJs generally. I’d been one when we met, but it wasn’t my calling – mine was to work in a lowlevel marcomms role tangentially related to Melbourne’s arts scene. I was Biddy’s type, though, me in my entirety, just as I was – I still couldn’t believe it.

Swipe, swipe, too young, too old, too many people in the picture, swipe, nice undies, swipe … She stopped, considered.

‘Oh yeah,’ I said, looking intently.

He was hot, if you considered broodingly handsome men with incredibly sculpted bodies hot. She was taking him in, considering …

‘You can always swipe right,’ I said.

‘No, let’s keep going.’

Swipe, swipe, sw–

‘Woah, stop,’ I said. He wasn’t the world’s biggest guy but what an amazing smile. He was hanging from a rope in shorts and a vest, looked like he’d be loads of fun. ‘Abseiling … Imagine that.’

‘Shall I keep going?’

Swiping, swiping, stopping, no, starting again, swiping …