I wasn’t sure how helping the world necessarily tumbled into politics, but I said, “Of course. So the prince set off to help people, and his first stop was in a far-off land called America. And while he was there, do you know who he met?”

“An American!” shouted one of the kids.

“A pony! A talking pony!”

“Spider-Man!”

“Yes, that’s absolutely right, he met Spider-Man, and they became good friends. And one day, while the prince and Spider-Man were flying around in their magical help-mobile—”

“What’s a help-mobile?”

“Is it like an ambulance?”

“Is it like a Prius?”

“Do you have a help-mobile?”

“A help-mobile is a cross between a helicopter,” I ventured, “like the prince flew when he was a brave soldier, and the Batmobile if it could fly.”

The children looked at each other, unsure, until one boy asked, “Wouldn’t that be the Batplane?”

“Totally different. Ask your mums and dads.”

“And can’t Spider-Man already fly?”

“Spider-Man can swoop around using his web, which is great, but it’s not technically flying.”

“No, it’s not, Devin,” the little girl with the dinosaur sticker told the boy. I loved that little girl.

“So they were flying around,” I went on, “and helping people—”

“With groceries?”

“And doctors’ appointments?”

“And finding Dad’s car in the parking lot?”

“All of those things! Such good ideas!”

“Did Wonder Woman help them?”

“Was Spider-Man the prince’s boyfriend?”

“Just asking,” said another parent, a man in a windbreaker and khakis, “do we really need any references to Spider-Man’s sex life?”

“Spider-Man and the prince were just good friends.”

As I said this I felt a twinge of disappointment in myself: Had I just scurried past the creation of a heroic gay couple? Or would that be getting way too PC? There have been more and more LGBTQ superheroes in comic books, although only a few have made the super-leap into movies or cable shows. I considered telling the kids about my great-aunt Miriam’s favorite superhero, Doctor Strange, although she’d fretted, “I’m not sure if he’s Jewish, or if that’s really a good name for a doctor. But if he took my insurance I’d love him.”

“And then one day,” I continued, “Spider-Man and the prince were flying over a schoolyard, and they saw a little girl with blue hair and green skin. And even though she was really smart and her skin and her hair looked great together, she was being bullied by some of the other kids because she could fly. Because sometimes when you’re different, other people don’t always understand. And one of the other kids, a mean little boy who wished he could fly, he grabbed one of the little girl’s wings and bent it.”

The children gasped.