“But from talking to Edgar,” I said, “I realized something. Everyone on that board didn’t only come out. It’s like they added the words ‘Openly Gay’ to their names whenever they’re written about or introduced. Which I love, but I guess—it’s a weird position to be in. Edgar’s still working on it.”

“But do you remember what I told you, back then? About coming out?”

“Of course. You said that anyone who comes out should get their choice of a free car or a trip to Disney World. And right now, I’m sort of getting both. As long as I don’t make any more stupid mistakes.”

“You will,” said Abby, cheerfully. “But when will you get that it’s okay? Especially if you’ve met the right person?”

“Stop. Don’t jinx it. Knock on wood. I mean it.”

Abby obligingly knocked on Dane’s head as he lay beside her wearing a NY Yankees ball cap, listening to a game on his earbuds.

“I love you,” I said.

“Of course,” said Abby.

I’m not positive, but in my dream later that night, I could swear I heard the queen’s supervillain laughter, cackling, “Keep it in your pants, New Jersey sexboy!”

CHAPTER 20

I made every effort not to be cranky over breakfast the next morning in one of the palace’s smaller dining rooms, which meant that Edgar and I were seated only twenty feet apart at either end of an unwieldy mahogany table.

“She lurked last night, didn’t she?” said Edgar. “Nana. In the hall.”

“Does that happen a lot?”

“Only when she thinks I’m about to slip out and have a good time. She’s like, what was that devil doll’s name—Chucky? The one who keeps popping up and mauling babysitters?”

“I think she’s worried about us, but especially about me.”

“So today we’re going to prove Nana and everyone else wrong. We’re going to provide a serious and important demonstration of our most caring and responsible selves.”

“Please don’t make me try and understand Brexit. Because the closest I can get is if New Jersey broke away from New York and floated out to sea while Connecticut laughed.”

“We’ll attend to that later. I’ll be gentle. Today we’re going to do some good.”