“But don’t you see? I did win. Because I’ve had the opportunity to meet His Highness, and even more importantly, the fellow he cares about. That’s why I chose the rainbow. My partner, Edith, she’s an optometrist, we’ve been together for twenty-one years, and things haven’t always been . . . unhindered. Our families barely speak to us, and just last week, this bloke was walking past Edith’s storefront, and he saw the small rainbow flag in the window. He marched in just as Edith was giving an eye exam to Rebecca, a woman from our church, she’s been coming to Edith for years. And the man was clutching the flag. He spat on it, tossed it on the floor, and called Edith and Rebecca, and I’m quoting, ‘a couple of ugly dyke bitches.’ And he stomped out.”

“Oh my God . . .” I said.

“I’m so sorry . . .” Edgar added.

“And that’s why you mean so much, and why Edith has been showing me all the photos of the two of you together. Edith?”

A woman Harriet’s age, only shorter and redheaded, in a Levi’s jacket and a long skirt, had been waiting outside.

“What a pleasure,” said Edith, shyly. “You’ve made our day.”

Edgar and I were about to cry as Harriet and Edith asked for a selfie, and I tried not to breathe on them.

“Oh my,” said Edgar, after the couple had gone.

“They’re so wonderful. And everything they said, we don’t deserve it. I don’t.”

“But Harriet and Edith thought otherwise. And Carter, I know we shouldn’t keep at this just for the optics as queer mascots. That would be madness. So there’s something I should tell you.”

Here it comes. He’s being a gentleman. Letting me down easy. Even though we’re both Aquarians. Or maybe because we’re both Aquarians, which can be an overdose. We’d been ingenious and adaptable and all the rest of it, and the result was clear. We should burn everything we had on. He’ll say it’s not me, it’s him. We’ll both be so caring.

“When I saw you barf, with that rainbow of partially digested trifle geysering from every opening in your body, I only had two thoughts. First I told myself, ‘Do not laugh. That would be so inhumane.’”

“Thank you.”