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Chapters (32)
  1. COVER
  2. CONTENTS
  3. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  4. DEDICATION
  5. EPIGRAPH
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. 12
  18. 13
  19. 14
  20. 15
  21. 16
  22. 17
  23. 18
  24. 19
  25. 20
  26. 21
  27. 22
  28. 23
  29. 24
  30. 25
  31. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  32. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

She finds Jameson digging in the ground with deep concentration, as though he has found a rabbit. As she gets closer, something small and hard chips into the air, catching the snowy light. She watches it fall into a pile of leaves that are dusted with snow like iced biscuits. She upturns the mulch with a crooked stick, poking around for it. In this part of the forest there are no birds. The snow here is untouched, like mounds of sugar, except for the occasional line of a deer’s track. She can feel the chill through her wellies, seeping into her socks. She prods around some more until she finds a dull piece of metal: a silver ring. When she picks it up she sees that it is shaped like hands holding a heart. She tries to catch her breath in the cold, and the forest and Billy and the rest of the world fade away. She holds the ring tightly in her fist, as though this is the only thing she has in the world.

‘Mum. Mum.’ Her tears are hot and she finds herself on her knees, her legs being too weak to hold her. She does not know what is real any more. And yet, she feels the slippery, metallic coldness against her fingers and opens her hand again. The ring is still there. She wipes her eyes and cheek with a snowy glove, pulls her hand out into the freezing air and slides the ring over her thumb.

She walks the short way back, calling Jameson to heel.

The sun is sinking and the walkie-talkie twitches with static in her other hand, before Billy’s voice comes through: ‘Lauren. Lauren. Where’ve you gone?’ She can see Billy’s outline growing larger as he walks towards her. The clouds hang heavy, like wet wool, and stars start to appear through the trees like large, shining stones at the bottom of a river.

The temperature has fallen with the sun and Lauren hugs her padded arms to her padded body.

‘It’s already dark. Come on,’ he says. ‘I’ve got homework to do.’

The thought of school tomorrow sits in her stomach. They gather various belongings and treasures scattered around the camp – some plastic binoculars, a handmade catapult, a rusty teapot, a length of rope – and put them inside the hut. They argue about whether to take home the packet of bourbons that have been stolen from Billy’s larder, before deciding to leave it in the supply tin, half buried in the frozen ground.