He leaves the room and Mum comes back to my side.

“We can postpone,” she says. “If need be.”

“Till when?” I say angrily, tears escaping faster than I can blink them away. “It’s not like I’m ever going to be feeling any better, am I? It’s only going to get worse.”

She takes my hand and tries to squeeze it, but I pull away. “He’s right, though, Ava. This is the best place for you to be right now. The only place for you to be. Your health must come first.”

“My health,” I laugh bitterly. “That’s a bit of a stretch, don’t you think?”

“I know you’re disappointed. And we know how much you want this.” My father has come to stand at my mother’s side. “But your mother’s right. We can postpone.”

“I want to sleep. You guys should go home for a while.”

“I’m staying right here,” Mum says firmly.

“No.” I look at her pleadingly. “Please, Mum. I meant what I said. I need some time alone.”

She swallows hard and nods, then kisses me on my forehead, her lips lingering for a full minute.

“I love you,” she says. “So much.”

“I love you too. Both of you. I’ll see you later.”

I lie there, crying and thinking, while the shadows on the wall lengthen. I think about everything. But, most of all, I think about James. The next time I wake, the room is darker. The light has been dimmed, by whom I don’t know, but presumably a nurse. It takes my eyes a few moments to adjust to the shadows, and when they do I give a start. There is a figure sitting on the chair in the corner, face turned to the window. At my sharp intake of breath the head turns and the person gets up to walk swiftly to the bed.

“Ava? Ava, it’s me. James. I’m sorry if I startled you.”

“I didn’t hear you come in.”

“No. You were pretty out of it. I didn’t want to disturb you.” He smiles warmly, but there are new shadows underneath his eyes.

“I must have given you quite a fright too,” I say, and he looks at me, puzzled. “Last night.” I remind him.

“Oh. Yes. That was…pretty intense.”

“What are we doing?” I say softly.

“What do you mean?”

“This. Us. Together. It’s not working, is it?”

He frowns. “I don’t understand.”

I take a deep breath and let the oxygen fill me with strength for what I need to do. “We rushed into this too quickly, James. And the timing, obviously, is just all wrong.”

“You can’t control when you fall in love, Ava. We both know that more than anyone.”

“I know. And I wish more than anything in this world”—I give a small smile—“more than I wish for world peace even, selfishly, that things were different. But they’re not. And I think we both need to accept that. You need to live your life, James, and I need to focus on myself, and my…health. Something I haven’t been doing.”