I nestle my face into his chest and breathe in the familiar smell of him. “Me too. But don’t tell her I said so.”

“Oh, Ava. I felt so powerless, being so far away and hearing that you were so unwell.”

“I’m sorry.”

I feel his arms tighten around me. “Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. I was worried it was mine, taking you away for the weekend and wearing you out. Did I push you too hard?”

“No, no. It’s not your fault. It’s just one of the crummy things that can happen when you have cancer. It could have happened anywhere, at any time.”

He exhales and I realize that he has been blaming himself.

“You gave me such a fright,” he says.

“I gave myself a fright,” I admit. “Don’t tell my mother, but I thought it was it for me. The end. Saw bright lights and everything. Of course, that was just Kate coming in and turning the light on.” I start to cry softly as he rocks me.

“I’m sorry. I should never have left you. I won’t do it again.”

I pull back and look up at him. Even though he looks tired and his skin is the funny kind of gray color wrought by a long flight inside a metal tube with recycled air, he still looks amazing. “What do you mean?”

He arches his eyebrows and tilts his head. “How do you feel about a new flatmate?”

“Are you serious?”

He nods. “Completely. I’ve already spoken to Amanda and Kate about it, and they’re happy for me to move in as long as it’s what you want.” He mistakes my lack of response for hesitation, and his next words come out in a rush. “I’m not proposing I move all my furniture in, of course, nothing like that. I’ll keep my place. I just meant I’ll move in for now, you know. And I can sleep in the spare room if it’s too much, too fast. I’d completely understand and won’t be offended, I promise. I don’t want to impose, and I want you to say no if that’s how you feel, no pressure from me. I just thought that maybe, you know, seeing as…”

I silence him with a kiss, my lips pressed tightly against his. When I pull away he blinks.

“Is that a…?”

“Yes.” I laugh through tears. “Of course it’s a yes.”

A smile slowly dawns across his face. “You’re sure?”

“I’m sure. I can’t think of anything I want more.” I smile. “Well, apart from a cure for cancer, of course.”

“Of course.” He grimaces. “So, we’re really bunking up together?”

“Looks like it.”

“And you’re really sure? I honestly would understand if it’s too soon; we haven’t known each other all that long, really.”

“Yes, I’m sure. Are you?”

“Of course.”

“James.” I shuffle over to the side of the bed and he sits on the edge, leaning back against the upright back part. I lay my head on his shoulder and he puts an arm around me. “I need to be sure you’ve really thought about this,” I tell him. “You know that what’s coming—it’s not going to be easy.”