I pinched together the sad, open breast. It was bruise-hardened and puncture-soft. She sucked a breath through closed teeth but did not cry. I had never seen a woman so beautiful. Her red-brown hair touched her shoulders like light. I pressed the cloth to the wound and made her hold it. I ripped a long strip from the top sheet.

“Hold up your arms,” I told her. I wrapped her up good, tight and clean, and stepped back to help her with her dress.

“Go,” I told her. She knocked a crutch to the door as she opened it, and without saying good-bye Louise was gone.

I wouldn’t go after Louise this time. I was going to stay in the hotel room until I figured some things out. I hung my uniform in the bathroom and took a long, hot shower. By the time I had dressed I felt the panic of regret. I would pay for a long night that had already punished me. I looked around the sad yellow room and felt foolish for how I had acted. I felt heavy and sick. I opened the window and sat down on the bed. The night came back to me, a bad dream. Shame. I wanted to be able to go back and change what I’d done. I closed my eyes and prayed like the nuns had taught me. I said an Act of Contrition. I checked the time with a sudden second-chance realization. It was early. Early enough to make it back home, see Aida, and still make my dayshift. Blessings. I felt the surge of my blind stupidity. All I had longed for I already had. It was such a simple idea I left the hotel running, the jangle of my heart hinged on hope. I was praying I wouldn’t see Louise on the roadside because I would have to pick her up. I wanted to go home without recrimination. I wanted to keep my cheating secret, give myself a chance. I rolled down the windows and noticed fall had come. The wind was cold and welcome. The leaves had died and the bright orange colors made me dizzy. A change of season had happened overnight.

Louise HEADING HOME