“Well, what if I’m following the no-contact rule, hoping that it makes my ex fall for me, but she’s reading He’s Just Not That Into You and deciding that my thirty days of silence mean she needs to meet someone else?”

“Well, she—”

“Or what if I know about the no-contact rule, and can’t move on when they go silent, because I’m low-key hoping they’re using it on me because they want me back? When actually I should’ve been listening to He’s Just Not That Into You? They can’t both be true all the time.”

“No. That’s why you have to take in other information. Like, how invested was the partner during the relationship? Do they usually use silence to show anger or disinterest? Who broke up with who, and why?”

“So it’s not one size fits all,” Brougham said with an air of triumph. Like he’d somehow backed me into a corner here. Not even close.

“Agreed. That’s why I base my advice on personal situations, letter by letter.”

“Right,” Brougham said. “And that’s, of course, why you never take someone’s money before you get all of that information. Who broke up with who, the history of the relationship, yadda yadda. Even if they don’t include any of that in the initial letter.”

I faltered.

His eyebrow quirked the tiniest bit. He seemed quite pleased with himself. The annoying thing was, he had backed me into a corner. Except for one tiny detail. “I have a ninety-five percent success rate, don’t I?” I asked. “I can tell everything I need to know from the vibe of the letter.”

“You know all the information without having all the information?” Brougham said, before standing up to face me at eye level. “Miraculous.”

Amazingly, I did not murder him. “Can we get started?”

“Sure. One quick, teeny question first, though?”

I mean, he was gonna ask anyway, right? “What?”

“If someone sent you a letter and said, ‘Help, my boyfriend ignores me for days on end if I say or do something he doesn’t like,’ what would you say?”

I could already see where this was going, but my mind couldn’t function effectively with him staring at me like that, so I gave in and let him lead me into his trap. “I’d say that the silent treatment to punish or manipulate is emotional abuse. But that’s different, this isn’t to punish—”

“But it is trying to manipulate someone into changing their feelings, right?”

Well, yeah, kind of, but—but it was different, wasn’t it? It was more about getting space from someone than winning them back. And even if someone did use it to get someone back, it was okay to do something if the aim was good. And what could be more “good” than rekindling love and affection?