Below the words is a pixelated photo of what looks like a Beverly Hills mansion, all lit up in orange lights at night. I’m about 99 percent sure they googled mansion and chose the first photo.

Actually, now I want to check. Seconds later, I find out I’m wrong.

It’s the sixth photo. My mistake.

Do I need to pay a contribution?

All your food, bills, and rent will be covered during your stay in Chalonne. Don’t worry about flights; we’ll get you to Loreux, and send you right back to where you came from when you’re done!

“That seems unnecessarily aggressive,” Rosie says, drawing her knees to her chest.

Will I receive compensation for my time on the show?

Yes! All of our contestants are paid in memories, laughter, and, if they’re lucky, a healthy dose of romance! How can you put a price on the chance to find true love? It’s worthless!

“I think they mean priceless,” Rosie stage-whispers.

“That, or they’ve gotten to know Jordy,” I say lightly.

How long will I be on the show?

It’s at our Explorer’s discretion how long you spend in our mansion. Each week you will attend a Notte Infinita party, where you will have your final shot to satisfy the Explorer—

I’m sorry, to what?

—before he makes his call. You can be asked to vacate the premises during any Notte Infinita party. At the end of the sixth week, the Explorer will make his final choice from those remaining. Any loser contestants still residing in the mansion at this point will be required to remain in pre-organized accommodation in Loreux after the final choice and until the live Full Circle episode in the seventh week, where they will appear in the finale episode to cheer on the happy couple!

“Oh no,” I murmur. “This is the worst. This is … I mean, it’s just the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Is this the worst thing—”

“‘Loser contestants,’” Rosie forces out in a high-pitched voice through helpless peals of laughter. “‘Sorry Jordy didn’t pick you, you fucking loser. Time to quarantine in the hotel of shame with the other losers and drink each other’s tears of sorrow for sustenance while Jordy runs off with the girl who satisfied him.’”

“Thank god for college, right?” I ask through helpless giggles.

Rosie tries to calm her laughter with deep breathing. When she composes herself, she shakes her head. “Maya, who’s going to protect those poor girls if you don’t go?”

I’m not laughing anymore, even though I’m not totally sure if she’s still joking or not. “What, like an undercover thing? Go in and thwart Jordy from the inside?”