“I do. You’re not addicted, and you don’t have a history, and you haven’t set up dangerous habits. But if it’s scaring you so much, maybe you should see someone about it, like the school counselor or something, so you can figure out what to do if you’re in that situation again.”

Brougham rested his head against his elbow. “That’s a good idea,” he said. He sounded tired.

We sat in the silence. Brougham was off somewhere else, and I didn’t want to push him to make his way back to me.

A few questions later, I sat up straight. “This is a more cheerful one,” I said. “Three things we like about each other.”

Brougham blinked and shook his head a little. “Ah, yes, better not miss the ego stroke.”

“You’re damn right. Okay, I like that you’re … impossible to predict, but I’m starting to anticipate you acting out of the ordinary, so maybe I’m sort of starting to predict you anyway. I like that you’re always there for people when they need you, especially Finn. And I like how you insist on letting people in, even though you’ve been stung for it more times than most.”

Brougham’s expression was funny as he processed these. Not quite readable. He cleared his throat. “I like that you always have a response, like you’re never caught off guard by anything, you just adapt and retaliate. I like that you’re so concerned with the happiness of total strangers, and you’re happy when other people are happy even if you don’t get the credit for making it happen. And I like that you’re just genuinely fun. People like to be around you.”

Well. For all his insistence that I was never caught off guard, I sure felt unsure how to respond. It felt like he’d looked at me, then ripped off my skin and looked underneath that, then dove deeper still.

When the questions were finally done, Brooke and Ray stood up and embraced each other, holding the position for second after second after second. Brougham and I watched them, side by side, our shoulders pressed together. “That looks good,” I said. He gave a grunt of agreement.

The sun was beginning to set as we walked outside, and everything was glowing with a warm orange. The yard had a dreamlike feel to it. So did I, come to think of it. I felt completely drained.

“Thank you guys for setting all this up,” Brooke said. Her eyes were heavy lidded. She looked how I felt. “It’s just … you went above and beyond. It was … extra. But it was really nice.”

“Well, you know. I’m really, really sorry for what I did. To both of you. I know it doesn’t make up for anything, but I…” I shrugged.