“I’m just putting things in perspective.”

“Really? Because it feels kind of like you’re saying to suck it up, it’s not that bad.”

Mom stopped pretending to be on her laptop. “Honey, I don’t mean that at all. Friendship breakups are worse than romantic ones. I know it’s scary. I just don’t want you to terrify yourself into isolation because you’re worried you’ll get rejected if you reach out.”

I flipped my phone over and over between my hands. It was like having a solid representation of how my stomach must look right now. “She’s not just my best friend, Mom, she’s my only friend at school. I’m friendly with other kids but she’s my friend, you know? I put all my eggs in one basket then I smashed the basket against a brick wall.”

“Oh, Darc—”

“And don’t tell me I can make other friends easily because I have a ‘great personality,’ okay?”

“Well, actually, I wasn’t going to, although I don’t like you saying you have a ‘great personality’ like it’s a lie, okay? I don’t take kindly toward you being criticized, even if you’re the one doing it. I was going to say I saw you in the cafeteria today.” Oh, ew, I hated hearing about her seeing me around the school. It always made me feel like I was being watched from the shadows. “You seemed to be having fun with Finn and Alexander. Don’t they count as friends?”

Well, yes, but no, but … I mean, kind of. My first instinct was to say it wasn’t the same as Brooke, and I was right, it wasn’t. Neither of them knew my most embarrassing moments, or my guiltiest pleasures, or which people annoyed me so much I gagged at the sight of them in the hallways. If I wanted someone to stay up with me until three in the morning eating junk food and watching YouTube videos, I wouldn’t call Finn or Brougham. We didn’t have that level of intimacy. And that’s what a best friend was. An incredibly intimate thing.

But maybe Mom had a point. Just because they weren’t best friend material didn’t mean I should discount them altogether. In fact, now that she mentioned it, it was a little funny they hadn’t popped into my head when I thought about my friends. Even Brougham.

“Alexander definitely considers you one,” Mom went on. “That boy spent half the day petitioning Stan to reverse your suspension Friday. He didn’t leave after lunch to get ready for prom with the other seniors. Nancy said she practically had to remove him by his collar.”

To say I was gobsmacked would be an understatement here. What was she talking about, and why was this the very first I’d heard of any of this? “Why didn’t you tell me that?”