Paramesh had been in London on 7/7. Sahana hadn’t switched her TV on that morning, so she didn’t know anything about the explosions till Pubali called her in the afternoon.

Frantic, she tried to call Paramesh on his mobile. But a pre-recorded voice kept informing her that ‘the subscriber is out of reach at this moment …’

Their friends came to the house one by one. Manish, Pubali, Tushar, Vasundhara. Each of them tried through their own means to get some information about Paramesh. But evening stretched into night and there was still no news, neither from Paramesh nor of him.

Despite their collective efforts, Sahana’s friends failed to calm her down. Her behaviour was completely out of control. Although they could make out her words, none of them could understand what she meant by them.

‘My hatred has killed Paramesh,’ Sahana was shrieking, in tears, ‘my continuous hatred. Was it necessary to hate him so much?’

The day passed in a whirl. Paramesh did not return. A week later Sahana boarded a flight to London, along with her sister and brother-in-law. And returned without Paramesh.

There was no trace of Paramesh anywhere. No sign. There was no way to tell whether he was dead or alive.

A couple of months later Manish visited Sahana. She seized his arm. ‘I’m converting, Manish,’ she told him. ‘I’m going to become a Muslim.’

Manish was speechless. If Sahana’s decision was related to her grief over Paramesh, he couldn’t fathom how.

‘Paramesh used to talk of complete submission, Manish,’ Sahana continued.

‘We cannot live together until you become me, he would say. I could say the same to you, Param, I would snap back at him.’

‘But he would shake his head. Total submission means unquestioning surrender, he would say. Where there is no scope for asking questions. Where questions don’t even exist.’

‘Now that I don’t know whether Paramesh will ever come back, there’s only one way to perform the total submission he wanted. Only one. In a couple of days a senior Muslim priest will convert me. My name will be Shamim.’

Possibly understanding some of what Sahana was getting at, Manish brushed a few strands of hair from her face. ‘Is there no other way, Sahana?’ he asked.

‘No, Manish, there isn’t. There’s no shortcut. No room for bargaining. I cannot become you with anything less than this. All other efforts would be in vain. This is what complete submission means, Manish. When Paramesh comes back he will realise that, although it took time, I’m now able to accept him with my whole heart.’

Don’t raise any questions about this story, reader. Before you can, I would like to remind you that this is a story of unquestioning surrender.

Copyright © Sangeeta Bandyopadhyay 2014

Translation copyright © Arunava Sinha 2014

This edition first published in the United Kingdom by Tilted Axis Press in 2016, by arrangement with Penguin Books India.

tiltedaxispress.com

First published in Bengali as Panty O Annyano Galpo by Ananda Publishers, Kolkata, 2006.