In the event, her mother was civil, though seemingly detached. She offered John sherry and asked him about his work, even listening politely to his answer without turning the subject to herself. She provided a very reasonable tea of sandwiches, scones, and seed cake, and was quick to offer John seconds. All in all, she behaved for the entire afternoon like somebody else’s mother. Katrina was suspicious and perplexed.

“You were very quiet,” John said as they drove back to Glasgow. “But your mum was nice. I thought you said she was difficult?”

Katrina felt a momentary prickle of irritation. It occurred to her then that this uncharacteristic, undermining civility might be her mother’s revenge on her.

She and John had sex for the first time a few months into their relationship. John said it meant a lot to him that it was Katrina’s first time, that she’d saved herself for him. She was worried about getting pregnant, but John said it wouldn’t happen, and even if it did, it wouldn’t matter because they’d be married soon anyway.

“Unless you’re planning on marrying somebody else?” he added with a smile.

“No.”

“Well then.”

It was better than she’d expected. John was skinny and pale beneath his clothes, and Katrina felt oddly protective of him. She didn’t feel much excitement—she had a suspicion her mother had ruined sex for her anyway—and the act itself was a bit like being poked with a sharp object over and over again. But there was something touching and primal about being naked and wrapped around each other. It felt a bit like being born.

“I love you,” John told her afterwards, his arm under her head. He said it often, but Katrina still felt delight when the words came. This, she thought, was finally “it”. Now her life could begin properly, and she would be safe forever.

There was just one unsettling incident, about six months after they’d met. Katrina was attending leaving drinks for Mae, who was moving down to London, and told John she couldn’t see him that evening. She didn’t like doing this; she already knew it hurt his feelings when she said she was busy, and she’d started to miss more and more evenings with her colleagues as a result. But Mae was her best friend at work, and Katrina had promised to attend.

John didn’t seem to mind at first. He told her to go and have a lovely time, and Katrina felt relieved he didn’t ask if he could come too, because her colleagues already teased her about how much time she spent with him. She said she’d only stay a couple of hours and would meet him afterwards, but as it was she’d been in the pub for less than an hour when John appeared at her elbow saying he’d come to collect her.