We met at Tesco’s and walked through the underpass beneath the M32. We passed some graffiti on the side of the motorway of a boy blowing a horn; out of the end fluttered a cloud of purple butterflies. It filled me with a dull rage that someone, somewhere, had such hope. We continued through Eastville Park to a large pond, and Matt led us down a muddy track to the far side. Opposite a wooded island he set out two canvas chairs, two rods and all the paraphernalia that goes with fishing. Flies. Hooks. An ice-cream tub of writhing maggots. He helped me cast and then we propped our rods up and sat in our khaki chairs. He handed me a can of cider. The pond was dark green and filmed with a layer of scum. Bedraggled swans, coots and geese ploughed up and down. Mallards, seagulls and pigeons fought over crusts passers-by scattered. The roar of traffic was an angry hum. It was a grey, cold day. We were overshadowed by the trees behind us; their dying leaves dripped water on us, in fat drops. There was a constant parade of people on the other side of the pond, with buggies and dogs and bikes; most of them in shredded jeans and Adidas hoodies. The smell of skunk mixed with the stench of decaying vegetation and the stink from the maggots. At some point that afternoon, maybe after two cans of Thatchers, I started to cry. I haven’t cried since I was a child, but I sobbed until my ribs ached and my eyes burned.

We didn’t catch anything and Matt didn’t speak. Not even once.

‘Of course,’ I say to him now. ‘Anything to help.’

‘Thanks, mate.’ He claps me on the arm. I can feel the heat radiating from his palm.

When I get back to the house, I lie in semi-darkness on the sofa, drinking a beer and watching my favourite Star Wars movie, The Empire Strikes Back, enjoying the peace and quiet. I can’t concentrate, though, because I keep thinking about Chloe and Joe. Would he have sex with an underage girl? Would she have let him? Should I say anything to Matt? It’s not like I know for certain. I’ve just got to the bit where Yoda is trying to persuade Luke Skywalker to go into this cave beneath a tree and he says, A domain of evil it is. In you must go. Luke doesn’t want to, and he asks what’s inside. Yoda replies, Only what you take with you.

‘Only what you take with you.’