Chapters (49)
A couple of swans float past and I get transfixed by the patterns on the water, coloured lozenges reflecting the Haribo-bright terraced houses on the hill opposite, broken by slashes of black and splinters of bright-blue sky. The sun is warm on the back of my neck, but I feel a chill seeping through me from the granite block I’m sitting on. It’s such a cliché, but I can’t believe I’ll never see Ruby-May again. It’s like she’s with me, at the periphery of my vision. Sometimes I have imaginary conversations with her, or I worry she might get too close to the river. Which is really fucked up.
ONE YEAR AGO, SOMERSET
4
NICK
When I finally walked up the driveway that afternoon, swinging my purple unicorn and whistling, I saw the lights first. Blueand-red, silently flickering against the white walls of The Pines. It took me a moment to realize what they were, because I couldn’t see the police car; but my body knew before my mind caught up, my stomach immediately cramping into a knot. It was hot and so silent, I thought at first the place was deserted. I remember standing there for a second, panting in the heat, sweat trickling down my back, and then I started running.
Bethany told me later that when she couldn’t see Ruby-May, she tried to wake Dad. As she bent over him, she smelt the alcohol on his breath. There was a glass of Merlot on the table next to him, and the almost-empty bottle, hot from the sun, was at his feet. He barely stirred.
She started looking for Ruby-May. It’s a big garden. I think I said that already. She walked right round it. She looked in the house or, at least, downstairs. She walked back out and through the orchard. She checked the Wendy house, she peered into the treehouse, although Ruby-May wouldn’t have been able to climb up to it. She searched the ruins of the cottage, tearing her shins on brambles, pushing her head into the hearth and the remains of the old bread oven. She scrambled over the stone wall and ran across the field at the bottom of the garden, frightening the black calves. She tore through the edge of the woods and splashed down the stream, burning her arms on the giant hemlock that Dad never got round to eradicating.
The place was eerily quiet. Chloe and Luca were still inside; Amy, Matt, Theo and Lotte were still in Clarks Village, trying on shoes, and I was still on the train, drawing nearer to The Pines. All of us were completely unaware of Bethany’s growing fear.
It was as if Ruby-May had never even been there.