One after another, our friends come up bearing gifts for our little one. An Ergobaby carrier, more blankets, and so many diapers. Teethers, including an enormous rubber giraffe called Sophie that’s apparently all the rage. A handmade wood rocking horse that will match perfectly with the neutral tones of our nursery.

“Who did this?” I ask when I open a NoseFrida Snotsucker without a card.

Darci’s maniacal laughter instantly gives her away.

“I will not be sucking baby bean’s boogers through a tube. Thankyouverymuch.”

“What in the redneck…” Lyle snatches the box from my hand and literally starts gagging before he finishes reading the back. “Darci…” He shakes his head. “You’re wrong for that.”

Just as my husband and I stand to give our heartfelt thank you speech to the group as a whole, Aiden comes running up with a gift bag. He hands it over to Lyle, bringing a hand to his chest, huffing for breath. “Saved the best for last.”

Oh Lord.

Lyle reaches in the bag and pulls out a book. “The Pregnancy Kama Sutra,” he reads, then jumps up and gives his buddy a one-armed man-hug-back-slap. “Bro, I can always count on you to put my needs first.”

“From your former wingman.” Aiden beats a fist to his chest. “I gotchu!”

“Let me see that.” I snatch it out of my husband’s hand, flipping through a few pages. “This is…ummm…explicit.”

“I expect a full report on each position.” Aiden wags a bossy finger at me.

I scoff. “There’s no way we’re trying all of these.”

“How ’bout a little wager?” Lyle has that look on his face that clearly says he’s up to no good.

“I’m listening…”

“If the baby turns out to be a boy, I can pick any position from that book, and you can’t say no.” He raises his brows. “If it’s a girl, the choice is yours.”

“Bet,” I say holding out my hand to shake on it.

“Ooo, hoo, hoo, hooo,” my husband sings, reaching back. “Better start prepping that no-no hole now, love.”

“Funny you should mention that.” Aiden hands Lyle another gift bag. “It’s cock rings and butt plugs and such.”

What the boozy baby shower hell have I just gotten myself in to?

Chapter Twenty

“How’s it going in here?”

I cease playing at the welcome interruption. “Good.” A huge smile splits my face as I look over at my sexy wife, lurking in the doorway of the soundproof rehearsal room.

I decided to come in early to make use of the practice space at Booze & Bad Decisions, since our home studio is still in the works. Sammi and I were the first to arrive, but the staff have slowly been trickling in, preparing for tonight’s grand opening. This place is going to be a complete madhouse.

I can’t wait.

“Is it okay if I stay and watch?”