“Querida, don’t worry,” my grandmother niggled. She knew better than anyone that worrying was my only hobby. “We’re doing fine. We miss you, but I want you to have fun over there without worrying about us. We have things under control until you get back, meanwhile don’t spend all day working, Mija.” Her voice turned salacious then, and I braced for it. “There’s always time for a little fun between the sheets.”

“Mimita! Oh my God!” I yelled, horrified as I powered off the car.

“Que fue?” she asked all innocent like she hadn’t just said what she’d said. “What’s all that youth good for if you’re not going to let a man, or a lady—” I grinned at that, because my grandmother was the fucking GOAT “—give you a night or two to remember.”

Yeah, I needed to get off this call.

“Okay, Mimita, I need to go find some bleach for my brain now, so I’ll talk to you later.”

“Ay tan dramatica. If I hadn’t let your abuelito have his way with me, you wouldn’t exist, niña.”

Kill me now.

“Bye! Love you.” I took a couple of minutes to gather my thoughts after that horrifying interlude as I sat in my rental. Ciara’s “Level Up” came on the speakers, which went a long way to helping me get in the right mindset.

No, I had not done any tumbling between the sheets since I’d gotten to Dallas. For one, my living situation didn’t exactly allow for that. I wasn’t going to bring some rando back to Rocco and Julia’s place. I also hadn’t felt like it. But that had also been the case these past three years. I hadn’t been exactly celibate, but sex had always been complicated for me. Though I enjoyed the flirting and the building up to it, once things got going I could never quite shut my brain off. Even with my ex Nicole, who I’d really liked, things had been more about companionship than “burning up the sheets.” Julia thought it was because I was a control freak, which was fair enough.