“Smart girl,” she told Alba with a wink. “You brought yourself a big strong man to do all that heavy lifting for you.” She gave a grunt of appreciation as she shook my hand. Alba grinned like she was very much enjoying the show. Once she was done with the handshaking Miss Susan proceeded to not at all subtly slide a palm up my arm. Alba lost it when the woman squeezed my biceps and let out an appreciative sound.

“Are the chairs inside?” I asked, as I tried to gently pry my arm out of her literal claws. Alba just snickered like she was watching her favorite comedy sketch.

“No, they’re out in the shed.” She pointed a red nail to a structure on the right side of the main house. “It’s open and there are still a few things in there that need to go. If you want any of it just let me know. I have price tags on everything.”

“Oh, that’s so nice of you,” Alba said happily. She was wiggling her ass like an excited puppy about to get her favorite treat. My dick throbbed in my pants and I had to hold my breath for a few beats to keep from embarrassing myself.

“Yes, go on and take a look.” She gave me another once-over as she clutched the opening of her robe. “I have to go get ready for church bingo, but I may come by to say goodbye. It’s so rare to get such...intriguing visitors.”

“Okay, thank you,” I said briskly, already pulling Alba with me to the shed.

“Oh my God,” she wheezed out the moment we were out of earshot while Miss Susan looked on from her porch. “She wanted to take a big bite out of you.”

“I’m glad me getting looked at like a prize bull was entertaining.”

“Entertaining?” she asked, incredulous, then dissolved into another fit of laughter. “It was fucking hilarious. I thought she was going to check your teeth and smack your ass. She kind of reminds me of Jennifer Coolidge in Legally Blonde.” She almost couldn’t say the last part she was cackling so hard. I only had a vague recollection of what she was talking about, but I didn’t need to worry—Alba demonstrated by bending over on the grass and popping back up. “Miss Susan would’ve loved to give you a preview of her bend and snap.”

“I hate you and be careful of what you do with that ass if you don’t want me to swat it.” The threat was not an empty one. My hands itched to touch her.

“You wouldn’t, and besides—” She stopped talking and came to dead stop the moment we stepped inside the shed. I thought something was wrong, but then she jumped in the air and gave a piercing squeal before throwing herself at a coffee table.