Back Now Is Not the Time to Panic
Chapters (29)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Mazzy Brower
  5. Part I
  6. One
  7. Two
  8. Three
  9. Four
  10. Five
  11. Six
  12. Seven
  13. Mazzy Brower
  14. Eight
  15. Nine
  16. Ten
  17. Eleven
  18. Mazzy Brower
  19. Twelve
  20. Part II
  21. Thirteen
  22. Fourteen
  23. Fifteen
  24. Sixteen
  25. Seventeen
  26. Acknowledgments
  27. About the Author
  28. Also by Kevin Wilson
  29. About the Publisher

“I liked it. I’ve read all of them. They’re really good. I think I like the first one the best, because I remember you writing it.”

“I guess I kind of hoped you might read it,” I said.

“I did,” he said. He paused. “And you’re married, right? You have a kid. I promise I haven’t been searching for you. I . . . just . . . that’s what the bio on the book said.”

“No, it’s okay. I mean. I searched for you online, so it’s fine. I am married. And I have a little girl. Just one. Junie.”

He nodded, like this all checked out.

“And do you have . . . are you . . . like . . .” I didn’t know what to ask. He was in his childhood home. What was his life? Why was I so weird? I wanted this. I wanted to know, but now it felt so strange, to be close to him and realize how much time had passed.

“No, no, I am not married,” he said. “And no kids. No.”

“Oh, okay,” I said.

“I have a girlfriend,” he offered. “I mean, I’ve had a few of them, but I have one right now. Nita. She’s a teacher. She’s nice.”

“That’s great, Zeke.”

“Yeah,” he said.

I was just about to ask him about work when he cut in.

“I do live here with my mom and dad,” he said. “I mean, I haven’t always. I’ve lived in some other places, too. I went to art school. I moved around a little. But . . . I don’t know. I had some problems. I guess I still have them.”

“It’s okay, Zeke,” I said. He looked so embarrassed, and it hurt me that he would think I’d judge him.

“I got diagnosed as bipolar, but that took a while. At first, they thought it might be something else. It took a long time to get it all figured out. Hospitals? The medication, you know? A lot of different ones because some of them were bad. And I’d go somewhere and get settled but then something would happen or I wouldn’t feel right, and I’d come back here. So I just stay here now. It’s good for me. All my doctors are here. It’s familiar to me.”

“That’s good,” I offered. “And your mom and dad are . . . like . . . they’re still together?”

He laughed, which made me so happy. “Yeah, they are. It’s weird, but when we came back to Memphis, my dad kind of realized he had been awful to us. He felt so bad. And he shaped up. He helped take care of me. And they really do love each other, I think. I’m around them a lot, so I think I’d know. It’s better than . . . well, better than before.”

“What do you do? Or, like, do you work? Or, like . . .”