And it was like Zeke knew that I was having trouble figuring out how to do this, to walk away.

“Maybe I’ll see you again?” he asked. “Maybe later? After all this happens?”

“If you want to,” I offered.

“Let me see how I feel once it comes out. I’ll need to figure it out. Watch myself.”

“Sure, of course,” I replied. I didn’t think it would happen, and that was okay, honestly. I would not ask for more.

And then Zeke said it, the line. He remembered it. He hadn’t forgotten. How could he? And then we said it together.

“Goodbye, Zeke,” I finally said.

“Goodbye, Frankie,” he said.

He walked me to the porch, and I said goodbye to his parents.

I took the posters, and I went back to my car. I didn’t look back at him. I pulled out of the driveway. I could not remember when I had last slept. Everything was a dream. I would never sleep again, maybe. I drove back to my home, back to a place that was familiar to me. I hoped so badly that it would be familiar to me. I needed it. And the miles ticked off, my car taking me there, and I promised myself that it would be a good place. I would make it. I’d keep making it. I said the line to myself, and it sounded so right. I had made that. I loved it.

Seventeen

WHEN I GOT HOME, JUNIE RAN OUTSIDE TO MEET ME. SHE hugged me and I smelled her, the unmistakable scent of my daughter, and I held on to her. Aaron was in the doorway. He smiled, but it was that kind of smile where you’re showing just enough teeth that you’re like, I might grind my teeth to dust if you’ve ruined our lives, and I gave him the kind of smile that says, I have everything under control, you dope. I absolutely did not. But it’s such a nice smile, and he accepted it so easily.

I knew that I’d now have to talk to Mazzy Brower, and I’d have to let her really examine the poster. And I’d have to drive back to Coalfield and I would take her to all those places on the map, which I still had, and we would see how many of them were still around. And I’d tell her a version of the story that would become the truth, and I would still get to keep the real thing, what I’d made that summer, a secret. I was keeping it for me and Zeke, but really it was for me. It was just for me.