“They told you that?”

“It’s what they told me to say. To everyone in the congregation. Two years ago.”

“Baring your soul.”

His head jerked toward me, surprised, then not. “Kiera said something.”

“The basics. It sounds horrible.”

“It was horrible. The worst thing I’d ever had to do. My parents caught me looking at some shirtless muscular guys playing flag football in a YouTube video. It wasn’t porn.”

My cheeks and forehead flamed. I pushed Lindy Blue to the deepest part of my subconscious.

Jameer said, “Even then, it was a lie wrapped in a confession. Pastor Newsome was very clear that when I stood before the congregation, I was not to specify that my ‘impropriety’ was about someone of the same sex. Pastor told me, ‘We want this to be something you can come back from in the eyes of the congregation.’”

“Dude, how do you keep stepping in that place every week?”

“God.”

I thought it was a joke. I almost laughed. His clenched jaw and downcast eyes killed those giggles.

“My whole life First Missionary has been my church home. I love thinking about the good God does. The way there’s comfort in His words when things get hard, like when my grandma died. I want to see her again, in heaven, Del. I believe that’s something that can and will happen. I’ve seen how a little push from Him can help people be better, like when Jimmy Carmichael, the organ player at church, first came in saying he was addicted to drugs and thought he’d be dead within a year if we didn’t help him change. The church welcomed him, and prayed, and he got the strength to go to rehab. Stuff like that happens more than the bad stuff. Because I do believe God’s there with us.”

“So why’s there bad stuff at all?” I was louder than I’d intended.

“That’s a big question.”

“No. It’s not. I’m not talking about why God lets bad stuff happen in the world, though we could talk about that, too. I mean why, in a place where Newsome has the power, does he force you to tell your deepest secrets? That dude, Jimmy, wanted to tell y’all what was happening in his life. He wanted y’all to chime in with prayers, or advice, whatever. Totally in bounds, because it was his choice. But why does Newsome get a pass to stick his nose in other stuff? Why doesn’t someone call him out on it?”

Jameer ticked off the words slowly. “Why doesn’t someone at the church call out the pastor? You are, obviously, still very new at this, Del. Because you’d be considered an agent of Satan and nobody would listen. The faithful protect their pastor the way the really big guys in football protect that one slightly smaller guy who throws the ball.”

“You’re talking about the offensive line and the quarterback, which you obviously know nothing about.”

“Sorry. I wanted to put it in terms you get. If you go after the pastor, a lot of big folks are in the way, and they’ll hurt you. I don’t want to get hurt anymore. I’m clockwatching, now. A year and a half until college. I’m going to the farthest one that will take me.”