“It ain’t about the family meeting.”

Her head bobbed. Waiting.

So, I told her, because I had to tell somebody. Not only the conversation with Jameer, or the FISHto’s dinner with Sister Vanessa. I told her all of it, from the beginning. I don’t know if I could’ve done this with Cressie even three months ago. Like I said, I’d been keeping up with her show. I’d watched her field tough questions and give thoughtful answers. My sister was more than the person who slept down the hall, and stole my Fruit Roll-Ups. Seeing her these days was like a fog lifting.

Midway through my story, around when Kiera and I walked home from Mama Marian’s and I didn’t get my kiss, we heard Mom come in downstairs. Cressie closed her bedroom door fully, and motioned for me to go on, but quietly. It took almost an hour to get it all out, and when I did, I felt lighter than I had in a long time.

“Wow,” Cressie said, “that’s a lot. I picked up on some of it from what Mom told me, but it’s way deeper.”

“I agree. Imagine being in it.”

She fidgeted. Chewed her lip. Looked more hesitant than I’d ever known her to be. I asked, “Why aren’t you saying what you want to say?”

“I don’t want it to sound harsh, is all.”

“I’m beyond hurt feelings at this point.”

“It seems to me like you understand this now, but I have to say it, because I love you, and it’s better you hear it from someone close. Kiera . . . it’s not going to happen.”

Heavy sigh. “That became clear shortly after the dude she actually likes punched me in the eye.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re a girl. Can I ask you a Girl Question?”

“I’m not sure I’m a fan of the phrasing, but go on.”

“Why do you think she’d still be spending time with him—probably still boning him—after he ran his mouth and the whole school knows their business?”

“Honest answer? He appeals to something in her. Something good, or something flawed, or something in between. In time she might find that thing, whatever it is, isn’t appealing anymore. Or, she might marry him and start a family. Whatever her reasons, we don’t have to understand them. She gets to make her own decisions.” She became suddenly timid. “Right?”

“Yeah, I get it.”

Matter-of-fact, she said, “Also, the sex might be really good.”

Spoken like she had way more experience in that area than what I was comfortable with. I said, “That’s enough, Cressie.”

“My bad.”

Something in me felt freer. At the same time, something in me wasn’t. I hadn’t unloaded all of my burdens. “This isn’t going to make a ton of sense, I don’t think, because I didn’t really like going to church with Mom every Sunday, but I miss parts of it. I miss my friends there.”

“The ones I met at the university.”

I nodded. “I messed up some stuff for them. I want to fix it, but not the way it’s usually done. I think that way is as wrong—or worse—as anything I’ve done. But adults are funny, they don’t seem to know when they’re out of line.”