Still nothing, no flinch. No rebuttal, just the slightest clench of his jaw tight and fast. But it’s enough. He pushes off the counter. “Like I said,” he mumbles. “Not my damn problem.”

Then he’s gone, just walks out like the conversation never happened. I shake my head, smirking into my orange juice. He’s so full of shit. I know him, better than anyone. I’ve seen him when he’s pissed, when he’s interested, when he’s spinning and pretending he’s not.

I know that little jaw tic, he feels something. Whether he wants to admit it or not. Maybe it’s because she’s coming here.

Maybe it’s because she’s real now. Not just a screen name, not just a voice through a headset. Maybe it’s because he knows she likes me.

I’m not letting anyone, especially him, fuck that up. Haven finally texts back while I’m sitting at the table.

Haven: Sorry, just woke up. You know I don’t function before noon!!

Haven: I can probably head out in the morning?

Tomorrow. That’s so close and still not soon enough. I grin and type back.

Me: Perfect. I’ll roll out the red carpet, or at least sweep my front porch steps

I don’t hit send right away. Instead, I hesitate. There’s something I want to say but I delete the message I almost sent and type something else instead.

Me: Can’t wait to see you, sweetheart.

I send it, and hope like hell she knows I mean it. Every fucking word. I drum my fingers against the tabletop, staring at my phone like it might fill the silence for me. Like maybe she’ll text again. Like maybe just hearing from her again will calm this chaos in my chest.

Not that I’m counting the seconds or anything.

The restless energy hasn’t left me since she agreed to come. It’s been riding me hard all morning, making it impossible to sit still, to think straight, to do anything except replay every message we’ve sent over the last year in my head like some hopeless idiot.

Maybe I am, I’ve been falling for her since the first time she laughed at one of my stupid jokes in chat. Maybe I never stood a chance the second she called me her favorite with that grin in her voice.

All I know is that tomorrow, I finally get to see her. Truthfully, I’m scared shitless I won’t be enough.