But he doesn’t. He just… stares at me, then back at the mask. Not in a casual way. Not in a yeah, my brother’s a dickhead kind of way. But in a stiff, unreadable, silent way. Like he’s thinking, like I just said something I wasn’t supposed to say.

12

Carter

She’s still standing there, half-smirking, completely unaware of the way her words just punched me straight in the fucking ribs.

Like it’s a joke, as if she’s not talking about the same guy she thinks is a complete pain in the ass, the same guy she would never have agreed to visit if she knew the truth.

I try to smile, to play it off, to act normal. But I don’t think I pull it off, I can still feel it.

The words twisting low in my stomach, sinking into something thick and miserable. Guilt, and not the kind I can ignore anymore.

I should tell her, I should tell her now. I just stand there like an idiot, hands clenched, the weight of everything pressing down so fucking hard I can barely breathe.

She’s waiting for me to respond, waiting for me to say something, still thinking this is funny, still thinking this is nothing.

I force a breath, dragging a hand through my hair, knowing I need to say something before the silence stretches too long, before she realizes how fucking wrecked I am by one stupid comment.

So I shrug, saying the weakest thing possible. “Yeah. He’s… a lot.”

Haven snickers, shaking her head. “Figures. I feel like I can already guess what kind of player he is. Loud? Obnoxious? Thinks he’s the best one on the server even though his K/D ratio is probably garbage?”

I should stop her before she digs this hole too deep, before I have to stand here and listen to her tear into someone who is literally in the next room.

But I don’t, I let her keep talking. Every word makes the guilt sit heavier, deeper, worse. She doesn’t deserve this, doesn’t deserve to be lied to, manipulated, strung along. She came here for me.

I’ve been standing on a fucking fault line this whole time, just waiting for it to crack open beneath me. And the worst part, I think I’ve already passed the point of no return.

I can’t stand here any longer. Can’t listen to her keep talking about him, not when my pulse is still running too fucking fast.

So I grab the remote, shut the TV off, and nod toward the door.

“Come on,” I say, keeping my voice easy. “You can judge my show choices on a bigger screen.”

Haven glances up, blinking like she hadn’t even noticed how quiet I’d gotten. Then she shrugs, setting down whatever magazine she’d been flipping through. “Lead the way.”