‘Jo?’ Ira said. ‘You all right?’

She looked at her husband but didn’t really take him in. Ethan had been to day care before and he’d been fine every time he’d gone. He’d loved it, in fact – all the toys they had out for the kids; the kindness of the staff – and it was, in theory, extremely safe, with locked gates at the front and the back of the building. They took the children’s security seriously, and if there were any problems, Jo knew they had her pager number, her work number too.

‘Jo?’

‘Sorry,’ she said, forcing a smile. ‘I was miles away.’

But Ira wasn’t buying that.

‘Don’t let them grind you down,’ he said, and abandoned his breakfast, coming across to her, pulling her in. ‘Don’t doubt yourself. You can do this.’

‘It’s not that –’

‘It is that,’ he said softly. ‘It’s exactly that.’

She sighed gently against him.

‘You’ve been a cop for ten years already.’

‘And there are still as many assholes as there were at the start.’

‘What can I say? It’s a gift men have.’

She squeezed him.

‘You’re a pioneer, honey,’ Ira said. ‘Remember that. You’re out there in your wagon, crossing those plains by yourself, having to deal with all the dangers of unexplored territory. You’re Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone – just with better hair.’

Jo squeezed him again and broke away.

‘You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, Detective Kader.’

‘I don’t know if I’m strong or not.’

‘Of course you are.’

‘I worry about Ethan all the time,’ she said, looking back along the hallway to his room. ‘I’m worried about him going to the day-care centre. I’m worried about this damn cold of his. I’m worried that all of this …’ She stopped.

Ira frowned. ‘All of this what?’

‘I’m worried all of this makes me weaker, not stronger.’

‘What, you mean being a mom makes you weaker?’

She looked down at her holster, at the gun clipped into it. ‘No one else walks into that squad room worrying about their kids. The men in there, they don’t spend one single second worrying about whether the people at day care are going to take proper care of their children. They don’t worry about the sleeping routines, or the allergies, or rashes, or vaccinations, or any of it. Their wives do it all.’ She glanced at Ira, winced. ‘That came out wrong. I don’t mean you’re not an amazing father. I don’t mean you don’t help me and aren’t with me every step of the way. I’m so lucky you do the job that you do, that you run your business from here, support me and fit around my hours. I just … I just …’ She stopped again. ‘I just love Ethan so much. That’s all.’