Last night, I tried to get Caitlyn to talk to me more about ‘Katherine’, but she refused. She said that she was ‘mad at her’. I eventually gave up. Caitlyn went to bed and I went around the house, collecting the spent tea candles. As I walked through every room, I caught myself taking furtive glances around corners and behind doors, almost expecting to find Caitlyn’s imaginary friend hiding there.

I made no pretense of almost sleeping in my room. It was going to be another couch night. I watched a Chicago Cubs game I had DVR’d and tried to make sense of it all. In the end, I nodded off somewhere around two in the morning, after having convinced myself that my fatigue and grief were causing me to see and hear things and Caitlyn had used it to reinforce her imaginary friend, who now had a name. That has to stop but I can’t do it, right now. I don’t want to upset her and then send her to Mildred’s. I’ll wait until after the sleepover. Two more days won’t hurt.

I avoid the conversation when she comes down for breakfast and she doesn’t seem to want to talk about last night, either. Instead, we talk about the sleepover.

“After you get on the bus, I’m going to take your stuff over to Mildred’s,” I tell her, pointing to the pillow and Disney Princess duffel bag she’s brought down from her room. “When you get dropped off later today, you can just go to her house. She’ll be waiting for you.”

“Okay,” she replies through a mouth full of Corn Pops.

“If you need anything, you tell Mildred, and she’ll call me.”

“Dad, I know. You already told me.”

“And you be good for Mildred. It’s a really nice thing she’s—”

“Daaaaaad.”

“Caitlyn, this is a big deal. It’s the first night we’ve spent apart since—” I catch myself but it’s too late. “It’s a big deal, sweetheart.”

She nods, lost in thought.

“I love you, kidd-o.”

“I love you too, Dad.”

*

I step onto Mildred’s porch and knock on the door.

She answers with a cup of coffee in her hand and warm smile on her face. “Come on in.”

“Just dropping off Caitlyn’s things.”

The aroma of fresh coffee and the faint trace of her clove cigarettes hang pleasantly in her kitchen as I walk through the door.

“You can set that stuff anywhere. The guestroom is all made up.”

“I can’t thank you enough for doing this, Mildred. She’s really excited.”

Mildred laughs. “So am I.”

“If anything happens, if you need anything, just call me. I should be home all night.”

“Oh God, I hope not. Go out. Have an adventure. Bring home a companion.”