“When we move in, can we play hide-and-seek?” Caitlyn asked. “At Sarah’s birthday party last year, we turned off all the lights in her house and played hide-and-seek.”

“You bet,” I said.

Caitlyn beamed.

Nicole twisted herself to look at Caitlyn in the back seat.

“A princess in a castle, huh?”

“Yep.”

Nicole gave me a wink. “Maybe we should get you a princess bed for your room.”

I watched in the rearview mirror as Caitlyn’s eyes widened.

The light turned green.

I pulled forward and smiled at Nicole.

Our eyes met.

That’s when I saw the blinding headlights in the window over her shoulder.

There was a sickening crunch and the sensation of every bone in my body flying apart.

Then, nothing.

*

Caitlyn lets go of my hand and I follow her as she walks through the living room and into the dining room.

When she stops, I can see the angry red scar on the back of her neck.

Her shoulders sag.

I feel it. I can feel Nicole’s absence starting to overwhelm Caitlyn. It’s starting to overwhelm me, too. It’s been overwhelming me for months but I have to be strong for Caitlyn. I can never let her see me like that.

“Hey, you know what?” I ask.

She turns to me. “What?”

“I think there’s something in your room.”

She cocks her head. “What is it?”

I playfully shrug. “I don’t know.”

“Then, how do you know th—”

“Pumpkin, you should go see your room.”

She gives me one more quizzical look and then starts slowly walking back to the stairs as I follow. The closer she gets, the faster she goes. By the time I reach the stairs, she’s reached the top and turns into her room. I take my time catching up.

Halfway up, I hear her squeal with delight from her bedroom.

I reach the top of the stairs. All the doors in the hallway are open. A steady, rhythmic sound emanates from Caitlyn’s room.

I round the corner into her room and find her bouncing on her new, four-poster canopy bed.

“My princess bed!” she happily sings.

“Hey! You’re gonna break it!” I warn her but not too sternly.

She falls onto her back, laughing hysterically.

“All right, enough of that, you little monster.” I point to the cardboard boxes in the corner. Each one has “Caitlyn” written in black marker on the side. “Start unpacking. Set up your room however you want. If you need me, I’ll be down the hall, okay?”

She nods.

I go to leave, but hear her hop off the bed and run towards me. I turn just in time as she throws her arms around me in the strongest hug her arms can manage.

“Thank you, Dad.”

I return her hug. “You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

“I love you,” she says.

“I love you, too.”

We hold each other, both missing Nicole.