My trembling is not from the cold water. I wrap the towel around my shoulders. Caitlyn continues to laugh and play.

It was so vivid.

I can get irritable when I haven’t slept but that was something I’ve never experienced: hatred. Hatred for my own daughter. I can still feel the sensation of Caitlyn struggling against my grip. The rage in Nicole’s eyes. She never looked at me like that. I don’t even know where I would remember that from. It was a nightmare. Maybe I fell asleep on my feet. Is that what happened? Is that even a thing?

I feel like I’m going to be sick.

I need sleep. I can’t do another restless night, chasing the sound of dripping water, and having vivid nightmares. That reminds me that I need to look for that drip before it gets dark, but for right now, the sun is starting to warm me. My nerves are calming.

“Dad, are you getting back in?”

“Not right now, pumpkin. I’m going to sit here and watch for a bit, okay?”

She pouts but then dives under the water.

I know I shouldn’t while Caitlyn is swimming, but maybe just a quick nap. A short shut-eye to get my wits back. I’m not sure I can even help it. My eyelids droop. My breathing slips into a rhythm. My head lists to the right and I catch a glimpse of Mildred stepping off her porch and walking in my direction.

“Damnit,” I whisper.

“How we doin’?” she cheerily asks once she’s within earshot.

Caitlyn waves. “Hi, Mildred!”

“Hi, sweetie!”

She turns to me and stops. Her smile vanishes.

“Jesus,” she says, quietly. “You look like shit.”

“I haven’t been sleeping well.”

“It shows.” She plops herself onto the grass beside my chair. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah … well … not really. Problems writing.”

She shrugs. “It’s probably gonna take some time. New house. New town.”

“Having problems with the house, too … Mildred, the couple that lived here before us—”

“The Thompsons?”

“Yeah. Did they have any problems with the house? Leaking pipes? Drafts? Anything?”

She thinks for a moment. “They had raccoons under the porch in the summer of ’97. Other than that, they lived in that house for thirty years and loved every minute of it. Nothing like what you’re talking about and I’m sure they would have told me. We were close.”

“Then why now?” I groan, more to myself.

Caitlyn shrieks with laughter from the water.

Mildred looks at her and then back at me and has a thought.

“Caitlyn?” she calls.

“Yes, Mildred?”

“Tuesday night, we are having a sleepover at my house. Just you and me. We’re going to watch movies, eat cookies, and play games.”

Caitlyn stops splashing. “Really?”

I sit up. “Mildred, you don’t have to do that—”