Once dinner is finished, we head outside to the backyard to enjoy the warm evening. She spends the better part of an hour at the water’s edge, walking in the water and playing with the fireflies, while I enjoy an after-dinner scotch in a chair on the deck. It’s worth the mosquitos. My gaze drifts through the star-pocked sky, down to the trees, and to the other houses along the shore. Nicole would have loved this. Thinking about her gives me a sense of warmth, which is completely different from last night, but that’s grief for you. Sometimes it makes you inconsolable, sometimes it makes you enraged. Other times, it makes you feel at peace, and you never know which one you’re going to get. But Nicole would also point out that it’s getting late.

I push myself out of the chair. “All right, Caitlyn. Time to get ready for bed.”

In the moonlight, she suddenly whips around to look at me, keeping her hands behind her back.

“Pumpkin, did you hear me?”

“Yes.”

“Okay … well, come inside.”

She stands motionless, as if she’s trying to make a decision. Then, she suddenly brings her hands to her chest and begins running towards me.

“Don’t forget to brush your teeth,” I say as she races past me.

She’s clutching something. It glints in the light from the porch as she runs past.

“Okay!” she says, running through the back door, leaving me to clean up our plates from dinner.

*

After depositing the dishes from dinner in the dishwasher, I go upstairs to say good night.

At the top of the stairs, I stand next to Caitlyn’s open bedroom door and there’s the sound of the sink running in the bathroom down the hall. I glance into her room and see the collection of empty cardboard boxes in the corner. I begin to make my way towards them when a reflection of light catches my eye from her nightstand. I go over and bend down for a better look.

This must have been what was in her hand.

It’s a brass medallion, about the size of a half-dollar. It’s scratched and worn. I pick it up and turn it over in my hand. On one side are three small pegs of different lengths. On the other side is an inscription in an elegant font.

The Secrets That I Keep.

It’s suddenly snatched from me.

I look up to see Caitlyn staring at me, holding the medallion. Her eyes are a mixture of anger and fear.

“Sweetheart, where did you get that?” I ask, a little unnerved that I didn’t hear her approach.

“She gave it to me.”

“Who gave it to you?” I gently ask.

She grows more fearful. “I mean … I …” She clutches the medallion tighter. “I found it in the water.”

“Hey. It’s okay. You found it. It’s yours.”