Through the open door of the bedroom, I can hear Caitlyn singing to herself down the hall as she unpacks.

My unpacking is relatively easy. I hang my clothes in the closet and I tuck away the rest in the dresser. I’m not much of an interior designer, so the walls are going to remain bare. The only ‘decoration’ is a photo on the mantel over the fireplace of Nicole and I on our wedding day. Now, I’m sitting on the corner of the bed with the last thing that needs to be put away: a small cardboard box. I stare at it for a moment, then flip open the lid to reveal the small, snub-nosed pistol resting inside. I purchased it at a pawn shop a few months earlier, during what was my lowest point after Nicole’s death. It was an impulse buy that I immediately regretted, but I can’t bring myself to get rid of it. I keep the bullets in the drawer below the top drawer in a pretense of safety. Nicole would be furious if she knew I had a gun in the house.

“But Nicole’s not here, is she?” I mumble to myself and instantly feel ashamed.

I close the lid, go to the dresser, tuck the box into the back of the top drawer, bury it behind pairs and pairs of socks, and push the drawer closed.

The wind blasts across the top of the chimney, filling the room with a soft wail.

I take in my new bedroom.

It feels cold; like the room doesn’t want me here. The shadows on the walls don’t seem to match what’s around me.

It’s a ridiculous thought, of course. The room feels unwelcoming because this isn’t the same room as before. I was supposed to share this room with Nicole and now, she’s not here. That’s all. I’ll get used to it. I really don’t have a choice, do I?

The wind gusts again, causing a louder wail than before.

But not right now, I think, and head out the door.

*

A gust of wind rattles the window above the sink.

“Bowl,” Caitlyn announces.

She hands me the bowl and I place it on the shelf in the cabinet.

She takes another paper-enclosed item out of the box marked ‘kitchen’ and unwraps it.

“Little bowl,” she declares.

“Thank you,” I reply and place it next to the stack of other bowls in the cabinet.