Why? Because the truth was worthwhile. It was more important than anything, really. She’d had ten years of peaceful retirement, time to think, wonder, contemplate, and had come up with nothing. But new vistas of thought had been opened by the curiously ignored genius with the white mutton-chops, whose books were harder and harder to get and whom the world would consider a mere footnote from the nineteenth century—a crank, a guy with an ax to grind, a hypochondriac, a misogynist, an alarmist who slept with pistols under his pillow, a man with many faults. Well, check anyone out and what do you find?

For God’s sake, how were you supposed to make any sense out of this crazy-ass shit called life? If only she could simply push a button and never have been born.

The son-in-law took antidepressants and claimed to be a melancholiac, yet he always seemed upbeat, comical, ready with a laugh. He had a sense of the absurd that she had found annoying back in the old days when she liked to pretend that life was a stroll down Primrose Lane. If she wasn’t walking down the “sunny side of the street” at least she was “singin’ in the rain.” Those were the days.

What a fool!

She encouraged the son-in-law to clown and philosophize, and he flourished when she voiced a small dose of appreciation or barked out a laugh. There was more and more pain and discomfort, but she was laughing more, too. Schopenhauer: No rose without a thorn. But many a thorn and no rose. The son-in-law finessed all of the ugly details that were impossible for her. Of all the people to come through!

With her lungs temporarily clear and mineral oil enemas to regulate her, she asked her daughter one last favor. Could they take her home just once more?

They made an occasion of it and drove her up into the mountains for her granddaughter’s seventh birthday party. Almost everyone in the picturesque resort town was there, and if they were appalled by her deterioration they did not show it. She couldn’t go out on the sun porch, had to semi-recline on the couch, but everyone came in to say hello and all of the bad stuff fell away for…an entire afternoon! She was deeply touched by the warm affection of her friends. There were…so many of them. My God! They loved her, truly they did. She could see it. You couldn’t bullshit her anymore; she could see deep into the human heart; she knew what people were. What wonderful friends. What a perfect afternoon. It was the last…good thing.