Those ugly things I said a year ago when you got crazy on me were in self-defense. They were calculated to bring you to your senses. I didn’t mean any of it. The sex we had before you freaked out was incredible. We did it like every night for six months and never missed a night, as I recall. Are those the actions of a guy who wasn’t turned on? Of a guy who wasn’t absolutely crazy about you? Come on. Follow the inspiration of Buddha and waketh thou up!

Kung Fuck

P.S. Can’t they induce labor? How overdue are you?

to: CC14

re: 10 lbs. 9 oz.

date sent: December 28, 1999

Hurrah! It’s over. Cesarean, huh? And on Christmas Day yet. I’m sorry it was so long, and you had to go through pain and all, but being born on Christmas has to be an upper. She will one day piss and moan because of the presents all coming on the same day, but secretly, she’ll be grateful. It’s a very good omen, if you ask me. Congrats, doll. I hope this makes you happy.

Yrs,

Stagger Adam Lee Huxtable

P.S. Did you get the check? I know you’re too proud to ask but I got all this advance money for the new season—for once I’ve got *too much* money and since you don’t, I wanted you to have it. You shouldn’t go back to work until you are strong again, and you shouldn’t pull such long shifts anymore. You have to learn how to take better care of yourself now. Pace yourself. I read that doctors have a life expectancy of sixty because of the hours they put in. Also, take note: You already know this, I’m sure, but babies that weigh over ten pounds often become diabetic. I don’t want to sound like a worrywart, but feed this kid sushi and don’t let either one of the girls get into junk food when they turn four and see all the other kids wolfing it down. I’m really happy for all of you. Really am. Thanks for not telling me the name. I have to go my own way and I don’t want to know the name. Thanks for respecting that.

P.P.S. You didn’t name her LaDonna or Chandelle or some shit like that, did you? ROFL.