SHE WAS A PETITE BRUNETTE with a high forehead, beautiful sparkling blue eyes, hair pulled back in a ponytail, waiting for a bus in the rain. I liked her from the get-go. Just the way she was standing there. She had those large warm eyes, plump rosy cheeks, and a nice nose, neither short nor long. Hers was a kind face but her eyes sparkled with mischief. It was raining fairly hard and her trench coat, made of cheap materials, was drenched. Something about that cheap coat broke my heart. No umbrella and that coat. She looked downtrodden, woebegone, in need of care. I felt like I needed to step into her life and help her out, inject a ray of sunshine. Christ, the rain! All about her was a bunch of bad boys in 211 nylon running suits. They were just hanging, nothing to do, nowhere to go, throwing gang signals, acting bad, making her nervous. Let me tell you, it was some real bad action. I knew this as Blackstone Ranger territory, a notorious crack cocaine zone, and you could see that these jungle bunnies were too hopped up to be affected by the weather. They had their chests puffed out, going about their bid’ness, putting on a show. I gave them a severe look to back them off and one of them says, “Man, who are you?”

Still another pipes in, “Motherfucker look like a hairdresser to me. A hey-dresser.”

They all laughed their asses off, but I ignored this shit and eased up to the girl with my umbrella and in a baritone whisper sang, “‘Hello, I love you, won’t you tell me your name?’”

She laughed a little and looked me over. I could see a sense of relief roll over her like a wave. “Judith,” she says with a cockney accent. “Judith Smith. Who would you be, then?”

I extended my umbrella over her head and told her my name. She called me a real gentleman. Something she was unused to in these parts. I said, “Judith Smith, you look like you could stand to dry out. Look, I’m hungry. I don’t wish to sound forward or menacing; I’m a straight guy. Would you care to grab a bite?”

She braced herself and thought it over for a minute and then said, “Sure. I’m famished. I believe I could eat a horse.”