She glanced at him, her face a mask of rage, mouth snarling, eyes wide with annoyance. ‘I’m sorry, Billy, I’m just not myself, I know that. I need you to be patient with me and let me do what I have to do. Can you do that for me?’

‘I can’t condone you bothering those boys. They will already feel so guilty and bringing it up isn’t going to help anyone.’

‘Fuck!’ she yelled. ‘You still don’t get it. I’m talking to them whether you or they like it.’

Angry as she was, she knew she wasn’t in the right frame of mind to confront Justin and Wade. She needed to be non-threatening, not the ball of white-hot rage that Billy had turned her into. She would go tomorrow, no excuses.

Later that night, they lay beside each other, but they were worlds apart. She could tell what Billy was thinking – he wanted to protect everyone from further heartache – but she couldn’t move on until she had spoken to Wren’s friends to see what they knew.

She went to sleep and had the dream again. She was back at Wren’s funeral in her uncomfortable black dress, pantyhose and black heels. She never wore heels, but she needed to look her best, as perfect as she could, because that would be people’s lasting impression of her, of Wren. This time, however, the nightmare changed. She was in the car, sitting in the passenger seat. She could feel Justin swerve to miss the deer, feel them speeding toward the tree that she knew they were going to hit. She pumped her foot on the imaginary brakes, trying to slow down the runaway car, but nothing worked. They hit it head-on.

Vanessa must have been moaning in her sleep because the next thing she knew, Billy was shaking her awake.

‘You OK? You were having a pretty bad nightmare there.’

‘I was in the car, I watched Wren die,’ she sobbed, rubbing her eyes angrily.

Billy pulled her under his arms, snuggled her in and said, ‘No more bad dreams tonight, Ness.’

Despite being so angry with him, she let him hold her. She was too afraid to be by herself, to be stuck in the nightmare again.

Vanessa woke up the next morning a little later than usual. The sun was streaming in through her window. ‘Shit.’ She dressed hurriedly, pulling on jeans and a jumper.

‘Morning, sleepyhead,’ Maggie said when Vanessa walked in the kitchen. ‘Want a cup of coffee?’

‘No thanks – gotta run, late already.’ She spoke fast so Maggie wouldn’t be able to get a word in edgewise. ‘See you,’ Vanessa said, taking a banana from the fruit bowl. She flew past a speechless Maggie.

‘Are you going to see Justin and Wade?’ she yelled after Vanessa.

Vanessa stopped in her tracks. ‘How do you know that?’ she asked, hands on her hips.