‘You know, this place is like a sanctuary to me,’ she said, pulling back. ‘Here I don’t feel judged about how long it’s taking me to work through my grief.’

‘I’m glad you feel that way. I seriously don’t know what I’d do without the support you give me.’

She was still fuming with rage when she went home hours later. Someone had left the front light on for her – probably Maggie. They were getting used to her coming and going at all hours of the night. Vanessa no longer slept much and when she did, it was fitful and full of nightmares. She imagined the crash as if she’d been there. Then there was the one where she was stuck in the funeral, like a time loop, reliving that day over and over again and again until she woke, covered in sweat and crying. It was burned into her memory forever; she couldn’t escape it, even in her sleep.

While Billy slept, she pulled out the next diary and began flipping through it. It was only half full. She wondered if it stopped when Olivia died and if this diary would finally give them both the answers they sought. Billy snorted in his sleep, scaring her so much that she shoved the diary under the bed. Once Billy had settled again, she pulled the diary back out and read it using the light on her phone. She finished the diary within half an hour. It didn’t hold the secrets they were hoping for, but it did have a note in it for her dad. Vanessa had felt like she was invading Olivia’s last words to her dad, but she just had to read them. She felt like she knew the girl now, and what if she said something about Wren?

Dad,

I know you won’t understand why I’m doing what I’m doing but know that I had a very good reason. It’s not like before. I won’t be waking up and you won’t be rescuing me this time. I will be gone. I’m sorry that I’ll be leaving you on your own. I know that you’ll struggle to cope at first, but you’ll find a way. You’re strong, much stronger than I am. I am taking the coward’s way out, the shortcut right to the ending. It just hurts too much to go on living.

I love you, always and forever,

Your Olivia

Vanessa sat there, stunned and unable to move for a few minutes, tears of frustration streaming down her face. Ryan was going to be absolutely inconsolable. Her note explained absolutely nothing. It was more infuriating than having no note at all. Still, she had to show it to him.

Yet again, she rang Ryan’s doorbell and yet again she had bad news. He looked prepared for it this time.