‘Olivia. What’s wrong?’ Her dad held out his hand to help his daughter from the bed. She shrank back and stood perfectly still, like the eye of a hurricane passing over her. All the anger went from her, leaving her exhausted.

‘Nothing,’ she whispered.

He looked at her closely. ‘Are you all right?’

She’d never be all right again. She knew this instinctively.

‘I’m fine,’ her voice hoarse from her cries straining to be heard in the field. Olivia bent down and retrieved her comforter, pulling it up over herself as she curled into a ball underneath it. ‘I want to be alone,’ came her muffled statement. She heard the door close gently. She couldn’t handle another man around her right now. She would have said anything to get rid of him. Men were either liars or they were indifferent: she didn’t think there was such a thing as in between. And there was no such thing as the perfect man, she thought bitterly.

Hot tears slid down her cheek only to roll off her chin, where they dripped onto the sheet. Her whole body ached now that she had stopped moving. Her mind wouldn’t let her think about why that was, the night a blur, and for that she was eternally grateful. Olivia huddled inside her cocoon, finally falling asleep as the sun rose on Sunday morning.

When she woke, she couldn’t bring herself to move from her cocoon. Olivia heard her dad walking quietly up to her closed bedroom door, waiting, listening for signs of life then walking away again when he heard nothing. He kept doing it for the next hour before she decided to let him know once and for all that she was OK, even though she wasn’t. When she stood, the world swayed, much like it had done… before. Her mind clapped shut, blocking her from whatever memories she couldn’t face reliving.

Staring at herself in the mirror in the bathroom, Olivia pulled the twigs out of her hair, not knowing how they got there. She undressed, taking in her ripped singlet. She had a flashback of large hands taking a handful of each side of the singlet and ripping it. She shook her head and moved to the shower. She washed the twigs from her hair, the water dirty from her feet. They were covered in dust and she hadn’t showered since… she didn’t know when. Surely it was yesterday before she went out? She tried to remember where she’d been. Someone pressuring her to drink a cup of beer. Don’t drink and drive: her dad’s only rule.