“Last time I got one of those calls I told the guy I had a house made of glass. And I asked if he had any clear siding. Know what he said?”

“What?”

“He said he’d have to check. And he did! He came back and said no, there was no clear siding, but how was I set for windows? In a glass house! I swear it’s true.”

He sits down beside me, smiles. “God. Good to think of things I won’t miss, I guess.”

“Right. There’s plenty of that.”

He sighs. “So. The last night. I wish I could stay up until morning. But damn it, I’m tired.”

“We can go to bed,” I say.

“Let’s just stay down here for a while.”

I take his hand, lean back against the cushions. “You know, Chip, I feel bad that your parents don’t know.”

“They do.”

I sit up. “How?”

“I told them.”

“And they …”

“They said for you to call them when it’s over.” He looks at me. “Amazing, isn’t it?”

“Didn’t they want to be here?”

“I asked them not to. We … talked. I think my mother said goodbye to me the day she gave up pushing treatment. And my dad … We understand each other.”

So Chip’s parents will probably be the ones who will have to figure out what to do with me. I’ll add something to the note so that the Reardons are not responsible, the state can decide what to do with me, I don’t care who decides. I’ll wait until Chip falls asleep tonight, and then I’ll figure out exactly what to write. It won’t be much. It comes to me that this is the ultimate measure of what your life has been, what you have to say to those you will leave behind. And I don’t have anything to say to anyone.

“God, I’m tired,” Chip says. “I guess I’m going to have to go to bed.”

I go upstairs with him, and we climb into bed. He kisses my forehead, my nose, my eyes, and then, so lightly, my lips. “Thank you,” he says.

I nod, my throat aching.

“Ah, Myra. It would only have gotten so bad.”

“I know.”

“After I go, I want you to get the hell out of here.”

“I will.” At last, I am not lying to him.

Chapter 25

Morning comes. Of course it does. He awakens first—when I open my eyes, I see him sitting up in bed beside me.

I’m amazed I slept. Angry that I did. After Chip fell asleep, I went downstairs to finish my note, then sat in my office for a long time. I came back to bed meaning to lie awake and keep him company. But obviously I didn’t.

“I love you,” Chip says. “I wanted that to be the first thing you heard today.”