Kyle said, “No, Your Honor, he is not an insurance policy. Our experience with our daughter’s illness taught us how precious life is. We found capacities for love we didn’t realize we had. We cannot have more biological children of our own. We have love to give and we want to give it to Sasha.”

“What if your other child gets sick again?”

“She is in remission, Your Honor, but of course there is that chance. If that happens, we will love her and take care of her and Sasha will be part of that. He will never be neglected because his sister is sick.”

“Mrs. Pollitt.” This is the first time the judge has addressed me directly and I stand, having just sat down.

She continued, with Pavel translating in chunks: “You already have a child who might demand extra attention because of her needs. How badly do you want this boy? Why this boy?”

I thought: She must not have been satisfied with Kyle’s answer. It’s up to me. I can’t give the answer rattling in my head. I put all that behind me. I waited for Pavel to be ready; he’s gulping a sip of throat-clearing water, since he’s doing twice the amount of talking as anyone else.

“Yes, ma’am. I understand your concern. I’ve wondered the same. Maybe his biological mother wants him back. He’s such a wonderful boy, I cannot imagine her sacrifice in giving him up so he can have a better life. Whether he was adopted here in Russia or by us.” Everyone looked at me, as apparently one doesn’t usually talk about the biological mother, but I want this in the record. “But he has captured my heart. Our hearts. Never ask me what I won’t do for Alexander, because I will do anything to give him a wonderful, fulfilling life.”

I paused to let Pavel catch up with the translation.

Then I went what Kyle calls full Iris: “Since we began the process, I have been approached by a woman warning me off adopting here, another car rammed into us after we left the orphanage and then fled, and the caseworker can tell you Sasha’s biological mother showed up wanting to see him. His mother has an unfortunate history with not being able to care for her children. It has been dramatic. And none of that, not a single moment of it, has swayed us from wanting our son as much as we wanted our daughter. I nearly lost my daughter. I won’t lose my son to what feels like an active campaign of harassment. May I ask you a question?”