The next day my shoulders and back and legs ached, delayed soreness from the crash. I took aspirin. Kyle, also aching, with a wrenched arm, didn’t sleep well either but finally drifted off and started snoring. I felt like I should hide out in the hotel room, but I couldn’t. Danielle wasn’t answering her cell phone or her hotel room phone, but I knew she had other orphanages to visit. She was staying in Russia longer than we were. I went downstairs and asked the concierge for recommendations on where I might buy infant clothes, diapers, and toys for older kids. The concierge helpfully gave me a list in English, with a map, and offered an interpreter to go with me, but told me the higher-end stores often had a shopping assistant who spoke English.

I will not be scared off by these criminals, these punks, I told myself. I ate a quick breakfast at the hotel’s buffet and headed out. By myself.

I went first to a large chain drugstore to buy a huge amount of diapers, lotions, and such and had the store deliver it to the hotel. There. Galina will have to forgive me for grabbing her arm, I thought. Then I went to a store that sold infant clothes, which I bought in a variety of sizes. Also delivered back to the hotel. Then to another store for toys and such. I bought hardboard storybooks and more stuffed animals (these kids needed something to hold) and two computer game consoles for the older kids, along with games the English-speaking sales clerk told me are “good” and “cool.”

No one noticed me or paid attention to me.

I had the toy purchases sent to the hotel. I tried Danielle on her phone. No answer, no text. I felt a worry creep up my spine. No text from Kyle either. Was he still asleep? I texted him, told him I’d gone shopping. I could head back to the hotel, but I knew I couldn’t sleep, and Saint Petersburg is supposed to be a lovely and interesting city.

I will not be bullied. Or scared.

Snow started falling. Normally I would find this charming, but it was so cold, so penetratingly cold, I wondered how any civilization arose here. I am going to take Sasha—Grant—away from all this and to the bright Texas warmth.