“Listen, I know how to separate God’s word from God’s people. ‘Cause God’s word is always right, but His people...not so much. My not wanting to go to church is about not wanting to be around people. But God...I thank Him that He’s everywhere.”

“Whew!” I held up my right hand. “I feel like I just got a Sunday sermon.”

“You already had a pretty good one with that man you married.”

I hesitated — the man I married. “Yeah,” I said, and even I could hear the sadness in my voice.

Jada leaned over and hugged me. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but I know one thing, you’re a strong woman and no matter what you decide, you won't be broken.”

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

This morning, when I got out of bed, I weighed my options. How did I want to spend this day of waiting? I could have easily stayed home, but I’d only end up pacing the halls and watching the clock. I’d even thought about booking the day at the spa, but that would be a waste of a good hot stone massage.

So after Carmen got the kids off to camp and after a leisurely breakfast of toast and coffee with Jada, I’d hugged my sister goodbye, listened to her admonishment that I should not worry, then watched her drive off before I’d made my way here, to New Kingdom, where it would take me less than a minute to walk the few hundred feet from my office to the altar.

But as I sat at my desk, these minutes were ticking by exactly the way I feared — so slowly. And with each tick of the clock, another thought tried to take over me, making me question my future even more.

Swiveling my chair toward the window, I gazed out at my view of the front of our church. It was Monday morning, so there were no cars, just mine. Mondays were our Saturdays; not even Jeremy came to the church. This morning, my husband had risen before the sun even breeched the horizon, on his way to his weekly golf foursome with three other pastors. That was how he spent this free day in the spring and summer. In the winter, he’d play chess, all of it his way of decompressing from the blessing of his spiritual responsibilities and the curse that was the weight that came with all of that.

So I was alone, though I expected Lizzy to show up at any time; she used these days to catch up on paperwork without interruptions from the phone or staff. Dru also sometimes came in on these light days, but when she’d called this morning to review my calendar, she’d told me she had a few errands to catch up on.